When I'm Gone

Chapter 12

I kissed him again "then why are you avoiding me?"

I cuddled his face in the crook of my neck "no I have been busy with this new album."

I shook my head "no, you have been gone before the girls and I are awake. We have barely seen you. You have barely even touched me, kissed me. I need you and you aren't there Martell. You said you will never leave me again. You have left me...you left me all alone."

He cuddled me further into his arms "I'm sorry. I have wanted to be strong for you but I can't be at the moment. Everything is fucked up. We lost our baby Lil."

I cupped his cheek making his eyes meet mine "you didn't need to be strong for me. We are tea, and together we work together. I love you but this can only work with we talk and have each other's back. I can't have your back if I don't know what I'm watching it from. Now as amazing as your song was I think you need to have a break."

Martell nodded "I don't think I want to rap anymore. It doesn't feel the same. I want to be here with our family but this is only half of my world."

I kissed up his neck to his chin "do you regret coming back to us. I know you won't call coming back a mistake but do you regret it?"

Martell took some time to think about things "I don't regret coming back to you and the girl. Although, I do have moments where I think what would it be like if I was still on tour. I always loved you and that wasn't going to change but there were things in that lifestyle that I couldn't change. The drinks, the drugs and the girls."

I nodded "I get that. Please come home with me now. Mum can watch the girls, she offered."

Martell nodded "okay, I think we need to get your mum something special."

I wrapped my arms around Martells' waist as we were walking out. As we were walking by the front desk the secretary yelled out the Martell. "Mickey there is a chick on the line for you."

Martell looked at her confused "what chick?"

The secretary spoke into the phone again "hey name is Jasmine, she claims that she is having your baby."

I glanced up the Martell shocked, I removed my arms from his waist instead of wrapping them around myself. He glanced up to me back to the secretary "she is lying, Lil, I didn't sleep with her."

I shook my head as tears rolled my cheek "I will leave you to it. I will see you there home later today." I didn't wait for his response, instead, I walked to my car and drove to my moms' house. I needed to see her. To have her hold me in her arms. He spoke of having girls on tour, the drugs and alcohol, of course, something could have happened. I was so stupid to just blindly believed him.

Martell's Point of View

I didn't sleep with her, at least I don't remember sleeping with her. When I first went on tour and Lilee had the pretend miscarriage and then started to avoid my calls I turned to booze and then drugs. Then when she refused to come to my shows I took it hard and hit everything twice as hard. I don't blame her she was doing what she thought was best for me but I was struggling. It lasted about six months before I talked to Amity one day and I then just stopped everything. I don't drink anymore or take anything stronger than headache medication.

I had the secretary put the call through into the interview room. As I picked up Jasmine spoke rushed "I know you may not believe me since you are famous and rich but I am telling the truth. We hooked up in Miami seven months ago. I am due in a few months, I thought about not contacting you but I lost my job."

I pinched the bridge of my nose "I want to fly you her so I can have my trusted doctor run a DNA test to determine that. Can you give the secretary you details and I will have her organise everything."

I put her back them to the secretary then hung up the phone. I really needed to talk to Lil, she believes that I screwed someone else. I need to let her know everything.

I pulled out of the studio and drove to our new place. When I pulled in couldn't see her car regardless I pulled up the front and ran out of my car and inside the house. I opened the door and called out "baby are you here. I am sorry you had to hear that but we need to talk." She wasn't there.

Lilee's Point of View

When I pulled back into mum's driveway I quickly rubbed my eyes with the back of my hand and then rushed inside. Mum was sitting on the couch with Amity beside her sleeping. She smiled and turned to me as she heard the door open but that soon changed when she saw I had red read and tear stains.

She slowly rose from the couch pulling me into her arms and walking with me to the kitchen so we could talk. I quietly sobbed "I went there to talk to him and we were going to go home and talk."

Mum gently smiled "that sounded great baby, what happened then,"

I hiccuped "we were walking out together to go home but the stuck up secretary stopped us she told Martell that there was a chick on the line. She claimed that she was having his baby."

Mum pulled me further into her arms resting her chin on top of my head "what did Martell have to say about that."

I tried to catch my breath "he claimed that it wasn't his that he never slept with her but mum he had already told me that there were girls on tour with him. He was so disappointed when I miscarried what if he is having another baby...without me."