When I'm Gone

Chapter 5

I woke up early the next morning, almost too early. Usually, Hallie would wake me at six wanting breakfast but this morning I woke long before then. I laid in bed thinking about Martell. He was back and he wanted to talk about staying. He knows about our daughter, he has held our daughter. I'm glad he doesn't hate me anymore. I wouldn't blame him but I just wanted what was best. I guess telling him was probably the best but at the time I didn't feel that way.

After thirty minutes in bed, I quietly got up and made my way to Hallie's cot. She was awake and laying there tiredly. I smiled at her "morning baby, want a bottle?"

She lifted her hands out to me. I wrapped her legs around my waist as she wrapped her arms around my neck, she buried her head into my chest. I carried her to the kitchen and then placed her on my hip so I could heat up a bottle of milk. I handed it to her and then placed her in her high chair as I made my own cup of coffee. As I glanced into the lounge room Martell laid in the makeshift bed. Then covers lay low on his hips. His chest bare of clothes.

My eyes racked over his bare chest. It was now extremely tan compared to the last time I had seen it. He now had tattoos scattered around his body. I had seen them in the trashy magazines but I didn't believe they were real until now.

My eyes racked over his body one last time before I turned around to make breakfast. I poured the mix into the pan. I had a plateful when Amity finally stirred. I served a plate the Amity and then handed one to Hallie to suck on. Once Amity had munched her way through I handed her a large plate to give to her brother.

She smiled at me kissing my cheek quickly. She skipped into Martell placing the plate on the couch. She then jumped on the side of the mattress. He quickly woke up glancing in her direction. He gratefully smiled at her "morning baby. Did you sleep well?"

She nodded gleefully "yeah, I'm glad you're here Mickey. You need to get up Mum and Hallie made pancakes."

Martell glanced at me as she called me mum but I ignored it. He accepted the pancakes moving to the kitchen. As he sat down I pushed a coffee over to him the way he liked it. I cleaned Hallie off and then I placed her on the ground. Allowing her to run off to her toys.

I packed away the remaining ingredients and then left the dishes in the sink to soak. I sat down at the table to finish my coffee. Martell and I stared at each other for a short while before he finally spoke "I stayed up most of the night watching the videos on your laptop. It's amazing how well you have your life together, everything you have done for our girls. I want to stay here and be with them. I have a meeting planned with Andre later today. I am going to demand I be transferred somewhere closer to make my music and until further notice, I am going to stop touring. I want to be with my girls if you allow it of course."

I nodded my head "they are your girls I would never dream of keeping you away from them. I want you to be with Amity and watch Hallie grow."

Martell clapped his hands "I would also like you three to move in with me. In a larger house where you and Hallie won't have to share a room and a safer neighbourhood."

I vigorously shook my head "no you don't need to do that. We like this neighbourhood. The girls grew up here."

Martell moved to the front of his chair so his knee was now against mine, he grabbed my hands "I want my girls safe now that I can afford better I want you three to have better. Please let me do that. Let me keep my daughters safe."

I reluctantly nodded my head "fine but something small, I don't want something that will take me a week to clean. It would be nice for the girls to play in the backyard safely. I spend so much time at the park as it is."

Martell wrung to his feet quickly kissing my forehead "thank you, Lil. Now I have some calls to make. I will be back later today. Is it okay if we do something tonight with the girls?"

I shook my head "not tonight, the girls are going to Mum because I have studying to do. Mum goes all out when she is watching the girls I would hate to cancel on her."

Martell nodded disappointedly but didn't bother arguing "okay, but next time I will be able to watch them. I want Hallie to get to know me. I am her dad."

I nodded "I know your here dad but at the time when I made these arrangements you were busy. I don't mean that in a harsh way but it's the truth."

We were then awkward around each other whilst we packed up the bed. Martell was quick to leave kissing Amity and showering her in hugs. He held Hallie firmly in his arms humming one of his songs to her "I'll see you soon Hallie, baby."

Once he left I closed the door behind him locking it. I called out to Amity "sweetie you need to pack an overnight bag for Grans, I have studying to catch up on. You can call Mickey tonight if you need to."

It took a while for Amity to pack but it gave me time to gather my things and then pack for Hallie. I don't often do these study nights but I do need them more often because often or not I am nearly late handing in assignment or am falling behind. That happens when you study with two kids and a job.

Mum soon picked them up and wished me good luck for my late night cramming everything into my fried mind. Just as I was about to open my current textbook there was a knock on the door.

I pulled it open and sighed "now isn't a great time."