Jimothy:
You fake ass hoe, how dare you abandon me at Jaebum's party?
Consider this friendship canceled
Mr. Crabs:
I'm sorry, but who is this?
***
A crackhead Instagram AU where Namjoon is a laidback idol, and Jimin is a fanboy that just so happens...
Jimothy: I have no idea what you are talking about Hobi
SweetTae: Guys
Sunshine: What Taehyuhng?
Jimothy: Now you want to talk to us?
SweetTae: I always wanted to talk to you guys I am just scared Jin and Jeongguk weren't really supposed to know about the modeling either I am still pissed that they went behind my back to find stuff like that out But that's beside the point The fact remains that I should've told y'all about the modeling And I should've told y'all about my relationship with them I just didn't want to take away from either of you And I have a whole little spiel ready so I'm sorry if you're already annoyed because it's about to get a lot worse
Jimothy: What do you mean
SweetTae: Hi my name is Kim Taehyung and my favorite colors are purple and rainbow I really like shiny objects and things that I can squish like playdoh I love all food but for some reason, cantaloupe holds a strong place in my heart or stomach or whatever I bite my nails a lot and tend to giggle at really dumb things that I think are cute I open my mouth a lot and make weird faces for no apparent reason I fell in love with two idiots that don't know the definition of the word privacy I am a barista and I am awesome at it But I am also a model and awesome at that I am very insecure about my pictures but also worried that people will think I am bragging about my success or whatever when I am just excited about my achievements I love straws with a passion Especially those glasses that you get from fundraisers where whenever you drink something it goes through the glasses and you can feel the cold go around your face I like being held and cuddling and I need something in my arms to fall asleep So I have been really lonely without you Chim I have an irrational fear of billboard signs and I don't know why Anything that is pastel is my aesthetic And lastly I have a dog named Yeontan that is superior to almost all human beings Except for my beloved Jiminie and Hobi They are the most important Even above Yeontan and Jin and Jeongguk And I hate the fact that I upset them
Sunshine:
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Jimothy:
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SweetTae: So can you guys please forgive me? I will try to do better it's just hard
Jimothy: I am about to get in the car and drive up to Jin and Jeongguk's to see Joonie so y'all bitches had best be here or be square Because I need both of my side hoes with me
Sunshine: Bitch I am so ready Tae you're in charge of the music
SweetTae: Okay!
Taehyung giggled at the texts sent by his amazing friends. He was so lucky to have them.
//
So um, that stuff probably sounded really random and sorry that it wasn't like, true to the real Taehyung, it's honestly based on some weird shit about me mainly because um, I am basically a seven year old and I mean, look at these!
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