Writing Music ( A Zayn Malik love story)

Reading Between the Lines

~Valentine’s Day~

Brad’s lips are locked with mine. His fingers are brushing across my bare back. I let my hands wander across his shirtless body. I have never felt been so open and exposed both physically and emotionally with anyone else before. He is in his boxers with me only in my bra and panties. Brad breaks away from the kiss and we stare at each other.

“Are you sure that you want to do this now?” Brad asks me.

“Of course I want to do this now. My mum is gone on a week long conference. It is only you and me and I don’t think your roommate would be too  happy if we were at your place.”

I start to kiss Brad again. For some reason he breaks the kiss again and stares at me.

“I won’t make you do something you don’t want to do Carla. I don’t want you to make any mistakes either. I need to know something, do you love me?”

I don’t know why I feel uncertain now. Brad’s question caught me off guard. I want to tell him that I do love him but I am guessing that he will see through my lie. His question reminded me of the last time I talked with Zayn on New Year’s.

“I need to know how you feel about me. I won’t hate you if you tell me the truth.” Brad says while I am still thinking.

I don’t know what is worst telling him the truth or lying to him. I have the feeling that Brad asked me because he suspects something and he is not wrong. I really got myself into deep trouble and I have played with Brad’s emotions long enough. I know the only thing I can do is tell him the truth.

“The truth is I don’t know about my feelings anymore. I thought I loved you but…”

“You have feelings for someone else. You are just like an open book, Carla. I know that you love Zayn, I see the way you look at him.”

I feel my wall that I built to keep my love for Zayn torn down. My heart feels broken. Brad knows the truth and I have no reason to lie to him any longer.

“You’re right, I do love Zayn. But I have not been cheating on you with him. I swear to you that the whole time I have been with you these past few months you are the only one I have been with.”

“I know you would never do anything like that Carla, you’re too good of a person.”

I feel rage, but it’s not directed towards anyone else but myself. I feel tears sting my eyes as I start to talk.

“I am the complete opposite of who you think I am Brad. Not only have I had another feelings for someone else when I was with you but I played with your heart as well. You deserve to have someone who treats you the right way and I am not that girl. I am sorry Brad.”

I push myself away from him and off the bed. I feel like running out of the room, away from the stress but I realize that after I walk halfway through the room I have nowhere to go. My mum is away on her conference and I can’t talk to Zayn or Lori without getting into more drama.

I feel Brad’s hand on my shoulder and I turn around to face him.

“No, you’re wrong Carla, you are a good person. I was the idiot for thinking that I could ever have a chance with someone like you. Then again we are only human and no one is perfect.”

His words are true and I have made too many mistakes worth more than a lifetime. My last wall of defense breaks down and I feel tears streaming down my cheeks. I usually don’t show my emotions to other people.

“I am so sorry Brad. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

I can’t say anymore as my voice cracks and my sobs prevent me from saying anything else. Brad wraps his arms around me and pulls me up against his chest. I can’t help but cry wrapped in his embrace, snuggled into his chest.

I don’t know when I finally stop crying but somehow I do whether it is hours or minutes later. The whole time Brad does nothing more than hold me as my tears stain his bare chest. I slowly push myself away from him and stare into his brown eyes.

“Carla you have not hurt me, I was the one who got myself in trouble for ever thinking that I could have been with you. From the first time I heard you talk about Zayn I knew that you had more feelings than you show for him. After I made that comment when I met him you broke my nose when most girls would have just slapped me. I guess that I have been lying to myself that we were meant to be.”

I see tears starting to form in his own eyes and I feel my heart starting to break. In his eyes I can see the same unspoken agreement, we are no longer together. I feel like a little piece of myself break away, a part of me that has loved Brad but not big enough to overcome my love for Zayn.

“You do deserve to have a girl who loves you and only you Brad. When you find her, you can give her this.”

I take off the promise ring and try to hand it back to him but he refuses to take it.

“I gave it to a girl that I love Carls. When I gave you that ring I told you that it meant you would always have a place in my heart and you do. It is a reminder of the good times we had together and a symbol of our friendship now.”

I know that he is right, we are friends and it is not wrong for friends to have something that symbolizes their friendship. Most people have BFF’s necklaces but I guess that this ring will always be something more, a reminder of the life that I could have lived. I put the ring on my right hand this time so I am not sending the wrong message.

I look back at Brad and realize that we are no longer boyfriend/girlfriend but just friends. It would not be right for us to continue on to what we were about to do especially since Brad was the one to stop the train. It is a little awkward especially since we are no longer a couple.

“So...um...do you want to do anything?” I ask awkwardly.

“I think that we should get dressed first,” he says blushing a little.

I remember that we are still dressed...well not really dressed appropriately for friends. I feel my cheeks start to turn red mirroring him. I just nod my head yes. Brad grabs his sweatpants and t-shirt he left on the side of my bed and gets dressed.

I walk over to my own bureau and dig out my favorite pajamas. I figure that whatever we are going to do we are not going to leave the house and I want to be comfortable. When I am doing getting dressed I turn and see Brad facing away from me as I was getting dressed.

He is a perfect gentleman and any girl would be lucky to have him. I just hope that the next girl he finds treats him the way he deserves to be and not uses him like I did. Any other guy would have just dumped me and left me alone but Brad wanted me to still be friends with him. He has the biggest heart and I feel like the biggest ass for hurting him.

“I can get going if you don’t want me to stay Carla. I’ll understand if you want to be alone.”

I walk up to him and tap his shoulder letting him know that it is okay for him to turn around. He spins to face me and I look up into his tawny eyes and see the understanding in them.

“Actually could you stay Brad? I kinda need a friend right now.”

I see a smile spread on his face.

“I will go wherever you want me to be. After all that’s what friends are for. What do you want to do?” He asks me.

I figure to play the safe route and do something that will not be too awkward between us.

“Why don’t we watch a flick?” I ask.

“Sounds good with me Carls. I’ll make the popcorn and you can choose the movie.”

The two of us walk down the stairs, Brad goes into the kitchen while I go into the living room. I walk up to the case of DVDs and look through them. I finally settle on Fantastic 4 the movie that Brad gave me for Christmas. All the other movies are romances and the last thing I need to see is fake love.

I manage to start it by the time Brad comes in with the popcorn. He hands me my bowl as I sit down next to him. I see that he drizzled chocolate sauce on it the way I love it. The two of us settle down and start to watch the movie.