His Wife

31

"Misha?"

A wave of emotions rolled through me. He was standing there so perfect, but just a few days ago he betrayed me and hurt me immensely. 

I hated him and wanted him gone. I wanted to go up to him and slap him; it took everything in me to keep myself from storming up to him and giving him a well-deserved slap.

But then, why did I also want to go up to him and hug him and never let go?

The pregnancy hormones. Definitely those hormones making me do unnatural things.

'Stop blaming everything on the baby, Maria!' My brain reminded me. 

Unfortunately, it had a good point. I needed to stop blaming this little baby for every emotion that I didn't want to admit I felt.

But the question was why? Why did I feel that way when I clearly shouldn't have? Misha had done something awful; he betrayed me, which hurt me in a way that not many had ever hurt me before. 

"Maria, please, let me talk to you." 

I stared at his beautiful dark eyes, gleaming like the night sky and as powerful as the depths of the sea. They were the opposite of his voice, which was very soft and gentle right now as if he were cradling a baby and singing a lullaby.

I opened my mouth to respond, but he rushed up to me and enveloped me in a hug. 

Darn! I had missed that! 

I wasn't going to let him know though, and so I kept rigid. But eventually, my arms couldn't stand still at my sides anymore, and I wrapped them around his neck.

"But don't forget," I whispered into his ear, "I still hate you."

He nodded against my neck. "I know."

"Now, what were you going to say? Remember, I'm giving you one chance to explain yourself. I still hate you though, okay?"

"Of course."

He stood still for a moment, and I took the time to gather my emotions. I didn't want to be crying and hugging and forgiving when the time wasn't right. Why was I doing this?

Why was I letting him explain himself, and why hadn't I already slapped him?

Ah, of course! I actually didn't want to. I wanted to forgive him, and I wanted everything to go back to normal. 

"Maria, let me start by saying that I didn't mean a single word that I said back then on that bridge. Not a single one." He had turned away from me, and I could barely make out the words he was saying.

I frowned. Was I going to believe that?

No. No, I wasn't. Although I wanted to, I couldn't. I remembered myself sitting in the snow, crying and laughing and decided that no, I wasn't going to believe him just quite yet.

"Misha, you're probably not surprised that I don't believe you."

"I know, but it is the truth." 

"Well, you've lost all my trust and so of course, I don't trust anything you're saying." 

"I know. But you'll have to. I'm saying the truth. Anyways, let me continue."

He finally turned around to face me. I stared into his eyes and then nodded.

He took a deep breath and continued. "After you left the room, you know, when Stephan was asking you about the ball and the letter you found, after you left we talked some more and then he told me I need to find out what exactly you had found."