His Wife

24

I blinked.

"What?"

He was silent for a few moments, but then mumbled, "Remember the scar at the back of my neck? That was him."

I stood still. I felt so small and weak and so defeated. The man that I had fallen in love with, the man I had married and whose child I was now carrying had been a criminal. And not just some thief, but he was paid to kill one of the highest members of the Soviet Society. What else did I not know about Alexander?

I let out a shaky breath before daring to look up at Misha. His eyes were weary and the pain written in them made my heart wince. I didn't want to look at him or talk to him because I felt so guilty. My husband was the one who caused Misha to go through such terrible times. 

"Misha, are you sure it was Alexander, my Alexander?"

He closed his eyes and also took a deep breath. "Unfortunately, yes, Maria. I saw his face just after he stabbed me, and I never forgot it."

I shuddered. Who was Alexander? I had no idea of the man he was. He had kept so many secrets from me. 

I closed my eyes and tried to picture it. Rich and extremely important and suddenly, you're attacked. You think you might get away with your life, and you're fighting all these strong men and you think maybe there is a chance. Maybe today won't be the day when I meet God and face death. Until you're stabbed. Right at the back of the neck and the pain washes over you. You're numb and as you fall to the ground you catch a glimpse of the man who has killed you. The man who decided your life was worthless and your death was very valuable. The man who was responsible for ending the short life you have lived, for ending all the moments you had and all the moments in your future. And just like that, you're lying on the stone cold ground, blood gushing from the wound, surrounding your face, your limbs numb and detached and the only thing you remember is his face. 

He was that man. My Alexander, the love of my life, the man I had been trusting with my life, with everything, did that.

"Misha..." I didn't know what else to say. 

What do you say? 

I'm sorry? For what? For marrying the man who killed you, who forced you to go through the agonizing pain of reconnecting nerves? Or for the fact that I never knew? 

"Maria. I didn't tell you this because I wanted you to hate Alexander. He has become a much better man and I think I have forgiven him..."

He looked into my eyes and then furrowed his brows. "Okay fine, I haven't, but I've forgiven him half-way. I don't want the type of revenge that you might expect, let's say that."

I frowned. "Okay? Then why are you telling me this?"

"Let's keep walking? You should go see the rest of this city. The subway station?"

I smiled, despite the very awful subject we had just been conversing about and nodded.

If you aren't convinced about how extraordinary the human mind is, and how amazing and beautiful a mathematician, an architect, and an artist can be, just go to the Russian Subway Station. 

Misha grinned and grabbed my hand and we ran off. 

"Okay, Maria, we're getting close. Here, take this scarf and wrap it around your eyes." He handed me a scarf and I hesitantly took it.

"Aw, Maria, c'mon, you know you can trust me!" Misha said impatiently and then grabbing the poor scarf from my hand, he tied it over my eyes in a split second.

"There! Now we can go!"

He took my hand and very carefully guided me through the streets and stairs that led to the station. It was so strange, being blocked away from the rest of the world, but still hearing the chatter and noise of the city.