desire ~ lrh

17

"are you sure you're okay, honey?"

i put my fork down and gave my mom a playfully annoyed look. she's been worried about me ever since she came home from her training for work.

"mom, i'm fine. i promise." i told her.

"so you wouldn't mind if i went out with michelle and robyn tonight?" she clarified for the hundredth time.

"yes, mom. go out. live your life." i instructed as she put her phone in her purse. she hadn't been out in so long and i wanted her to just have fun for a night and not worry about me.

"i can go another day—"

"no, you'll go today." i said her firmly. "i'm gonna be fine! i will probably do some homework and then watch modern family until you come home or until i fall asleep."

"that's the productive girl i know." she smiled, rolling her eyes jokingly. she gave me a hug and said, "if you need anything, call me but don't wait up!"

"okay, mom. i love you."

"i love you more!" she blew me a kiss before rushing out the door and down the block. i watched her until i couldn't see anymore and walked back to the living room.

instead of doing my homework, i ended up laying down on the couch and flicking on the television to my favorite show. sarah hyland was in the midst of making me laugh, three episodes in, when there was a knock on my door.

i walked up to it curiously and peeked through the peep hole and felt my jaw drop open at the sight of luke. i dropped from my tippy toes and stood there silently, not wanting to open the door and face him.

"i know someone's there. i can hear the telly." luke said blankly. i clenched my eyes shut and swore under my breath.

reluctantly, i unlocked the door and pulled it open. luke stood in front of me with tired eyes and flat hair. it made me sad to see him like this and i wondered just what could have been keeping him up late at night.

"what are you doing here?" i asked him.

"i came to talk to you." he said. i feel like i must have heard the word "talk" a hundred times in the past week.

"about what?" i pressed.

luke shook his head, reached to me and cupped the back of my neck before slamming our lips together. my knees nearly buckled from the electricity that shot through my veins. there was nothing like kissing luke in the world and i suddenly pitied every girl in the world who didn't have the same luck that i did.

i stumbled backwards and rested my hands on his forearms, moving my lips with his as he backed me into the living room more. i heard the door shut behind us before he gripped my waist and pulled me up so i wrapped my legs around his torso.

luke held me tightly, so, so tightly. i could feel the tears threatening to resurface for some reason as i kissed this boy with everything i had in me.

"i'm so sorry." he whispered, pulling away from my mouth. i stared into his beautiful eyes as he said, "leaving the concert with arzaylea was a mistake. i know i've been so back and forth with her but i'm not going to do that anymore. i swear."

"despite what just happened, i don't want you to think i'm your little kissing doll. i'm a real person, luke, with real emotions and i can't do this any longer. i don't want to just be your fun little groupie anymore. i know i must sound pretty stupid. i'm another one of the hundred teenage girls who have fallen for luke hemmings, but the difference with me is that it's tearing me apart. it hurts every time we mess around and then you bounce back to normal." i rambled off to him, knowing he must have been shocked to hear these words tumble from my lips considering i had never expressed feelings for him.

"you're not just my kissing doll." he promised me, taking my hand in his. "it was so wrong of me to do this to you, baby. i am an adult, or should be one, and you're only seventeen. i should have never done this to you. i should have talked to you. i should have taken you out to dinner. i should have walked with you in the park. and then, after a long time of making you feel comfortable, should i have taken it a step further. i should have never slept with you the first night i met you. i just saw you and felt immediately attracted to you and it scared me because i hadn't felt that since her. that's why i was so cold to you, so i didn't get to have to make a decision like the one i've had to make."

my heart pounded as luke revealed this to me. it even pounded from the simple fact that he called me "baby" instead of "babe." however, i couldn't deny that part of me still feared that he was only saying this as a reaction from what i said first.

"luke, don't say if it's not true." i pleaded with him.

"let me show you that i'm not lying." he begged of me. his hand tugged me back to him as he kissed me again. we made our way to my room.

_
a/n: one more chapter ;)