June: The Walrus and it's Metaphorical Hell

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monday

Eli picked me up from school that day, wiggling his eyebrows when he saw Elizabeth and I holding hands. I still hadn't gotten over the fact that Elizabeth actually liked me, so I didn't expect the teasing to be over any time soon. He climbed across the armrest and settled in the passenger's seat as I got in the minivan.

"What's up jace?"

"Hello."

"I need your help with something."

"Okay."

He told me to drive to a nearby diner where the waitresses all had big hair and name tags without names because they'd chipped away. He ordered sliders and a giant plate of greasy onion rings. He said that food wasn't good unless the grease ran down to his elbows. I told him that Courtney would kill us both for eating so much fried food, he told me to indulge while I could.

"I need your honest opinion, okay?" He said, wiping grease from his wrists with a napkin and signaling the waitress for a few more.

I shrugged, "My opinions are always honest, isn't that the point of opinions?"

He reached into the pocket of his jeans and pulled out a small diamond ring, sitting it in my palm and sipping his milkshake. I examined the thin silver band and diamond thoroughly before nodding, "It looks real to me."

He rolled his eyes, "I know, I'm gonna propose to Courtney with it."

"Oh, good."

He stared at me as if I was supposed to say something else and then he sighed."jace, I need you to be a little more vocal than that."

"I think you guys are good for each other, you balance each other out. For instance: you're more of a free spirit and Courtney likes things a certain way. You like fried food and Courtney...will probably tear us apart just for coming in here."

He nodded, "You're getting better at sarcasm."

"Thank you."

He smiled, satisfied. "I was wondering if I could ask for another favor."

"Yes?"

"I was hoping that you could help me propose?"

"How do you mean?" I tried one of the onion rings then, and I was surprised that onions and grease and "beer batter" tasted so good. And I understood why people were willing to spend all of their money in places like that and why Courtney fought so hard to keep me away.

"I wanna propose in a big way, you know? Like skydiving on the news or starting a flash mob downtown or something like that."

And I imagined Eli pointing to the sky as some plane wrote out his proposal or filling our entire house with white roses or something else gaudy and ridiculous that would make Courtney frown or break up with him on the spot. I frowned, "Courtney doesn't like stuff like that. You'd be better off doing something more humble."

He seemed to think about it for a little bit before nodding, "Do you have any ideas?"

"I've had to listen to Courtney talk about every boyfriend she's ever had. I've listened to her talk about every mistake they have ever made and what they should have done and how they should've done it and the proverbial happy endings that would have come out of it." I grabbed a slider and shoved the entire thing in my mouth, chasing it with an onion ring.

"So...do you have any ideas?"

I swallowed and nodded, "Yes, I have lots of ideas."

thursday

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