jace

August: Dissenting Opinions

wednesday

Mr. Ashbury had appointed someone else as the trumpet section leader that year, she was a girl named Haley. And she was nearly six feet tall and incredibly tough without being the least bit torturous; while my bones ached, they didn't burn.

My father was prompt in picking me up, but surprisingly quiet in doing so. He drove with a certain roboticness as if his actions were preset. I knew to refrain from speaking, no matter how curious I was. My mom was painting her nose when we stepped in the house, a bright red color. "Hey," she said, not taking her eyes off of the TV screen.

"Hello."

"jace, go to your room." My father's eyes were glued to my mother, his face void of all emotion.

I glanced at his crossed arms before nodding,"Okay." The second I ascended the steps I heard my father's deep baritone voice shouting above my mom's high alto.

And he said something like, "I told you that if this happened again, I would leave you."

And she said, "What are you talking about?"

I padded back into the hallway and stood at the top of the stairs, I couldn't see them but I could imagine what was happening. My mom was probably staring up at him, attempting to feign innocence. It didn't seem like my father believed it at all.

"You know perfectly well what I'm talking about."

"I don't--"

"You're fucking jace's doctor!"

And my mom tried to deny, deny, deny, but my father knew the truth, even though I wasn't sure how he'd found out. My mom begged him to stay because they could work things out and my father said that she'd said that the first time. That made me wonder just how many men my mom had slept around with and just how forgiving my father had been.

Before I knew what I was doing, I'd shuffled down the stairs with tears blurring my vision so that my father was nothing more than a blurry mass at the door and my mom was nothing but a mess on the couch. And their voices had begun to blend together until I couldn't decipher who was yelling what. "Dad," the word creaked when it fell from my lips.

He turned to face me, his facial expression contorted into immense anger.

"Dad, don't go."

He didn't say anything, he just walked out of the door. And my mother was crying on the couch, her white nail polish spilled onto the carpet in the living room. I ran back up to my room and fell to the floor and pulled my knees to my chest. And rocking back and forth had never been my thing, so I cried soundlessly instead.

thursday

Courtney was surprised to see me on her couch when she came home from work. I'd skipped practice that day and made the two hour trek to her house. She eyed Eli and then me, suspicion rising. "What happened?"

I told her that my mom had cheated with my psychiatrist and that our father hadn't been home since he'd stormed out and I wasn't the least bit surprised when she began to shake with anger and frustration.

"What a whore--"

"Courtney--"

"It's the truth Elijah." She snapped, turning to face Eli with angry eyes. "I tried to warn Dad, but he doesn't like to listen."

"She's still jace's mother, you wouldn't want his opinion of her to change. Would you?"

She shrugged, "I actually wouldn't mind that at all."