How I Heal

thirteen

"I knew that this was a bad idea!" I whisper yelled at the twins, both of them hushing me as we stood in the hallway.

"Shut up you're gonna get us caught!" Henrietta mumbled, her hands going to my shoulder before she gripped them and shook me.

"Okay okay," I muttered, pushing her off a bit.

"We wouldn't have been in this mess in the first place hadn't somebody suggested we follow Harry....," Henry trailed off but instead of looking at his sister, his gaze was directed straight at me.

Safe to say this was one of those moments when I resented us having the same height.

Henrietta looked at me in equal disapproval and I made a mental note to come back and kill both of them in this hallway one day.

No matter how hard I tried to convince my two best friends to quit the charade, they insisted we follow them, and we did.

It had been a bit of a lengthy drive but eventually Liam and Harry stopped at this building, both of them getting out of the car with equal levels of unrest.

I watched as they took steps away from the car, Harry a lot slower than Liam, and the expressions on their faces were unreadable. After what looked like some kind of pep talk between them (the kind that ended with many awkward shoulder rubs), they eventually walked inside.

We had followed them in, but to no avail for they turned a corner and went through a door none of us saw.

Now, here we were, stranded in the hallway trying to figure out our best course of action.

"What do you think is behind that one?" Henry asked, his index finger pointing at a random door.

"I could think of a few things," I muttered and he laughed.

"Stop it you two!" Henrietta silenced us, creeping slowly behind it.

Her fingers traced the wooden structure briefly before she pressed her ear against it.

Henry and I watched as she did this with each door, her expression becoming more weary when she couldn't seem to find the one she was searching for.

After a while, she stopped at one in particular, a frown forming on her lips, as she listened to whatever was behind it.

I looked at her worriedly and asked her what she heard but she didn't reply.

She instead urged me to listen for myself; stepping back as she held out her hands saying "Go on. Do it."

I let out a shaky breath, my anxiety peaking, embarrassingly at that current instance, and my heart racing as if it was about to leave my body at any time.

Ironic how my nerves only managed to get the better of me at the worst possible times.

I exhaled again, before pressing my ear against the door.

I heard low mumbles and joined voices before a firm voice overpowered them saying, "Okay, okay, let's proceed."

The multiple voices ceased, before the firm voice asked for reintroductions, general introductions for any newbies that could be present and statements regarding why each of them were there.

I eyed Henrietta wondering why I was listening to group therapy before she yell-whispered for me to have patience.

A female voice spoke up first saying that her name was Leila and she had been battling depression for a few years. She then said as a result of that, she hadn't been able to manage her frustration for a long time after.

More and more introductions continued, and after every person that spoke, there were a few more claps.

Some of the explanations were so gut wrenching, I myself had to hold my applause, but eventually the clapping ceased and the place fell eerily silent. I then heard the leader's voice say, "Go ahead,you must be new" as if urging someone to speak.

That familiar deep monotone filled my ears.

"Hi I'm Harry," he said, his voice sounding a bit hoarse. "I'm not new, I've been here once or twice before but I don't usually stay very long."

Encouraging words filled the air for a minute before they allowed him to continue.

"I'm here because I have anger issues and I want to do something about it," he simply said. His speech caused a small clap to erupt amongst them.

I turned to the twins with a look of surprise coating my features as I stepped back from the door.

"Harry has been going to anger management," I told them, my voice low.

Henrietta mirrored my expression as Henry shrugged.

"I knew that guy was a maniac," he mumbled. Henrietta glared at him before he went on. "Seriously, I told you guys he had anger issues."

"I didn't think they were that bad," Henrietta counteracted, turning to face me. "What do you think Violet?"

My mind thought of all the ticks Harry often had and the fact that he did seem to get immensely angry over the smallest things.

"I mean, He does have a point," I gestured to Henry, who smiled in satisfaction.

"Well, now that that's over, let's go before we caught," Henrietta urged us, walking ahead of our group.

I lingered at my spot, not quite ready to walk away yet. Henry stood beside me as if in some kind of twisted allegiance we had planned beforehand.

Henrietta walked a good distance before she noticed we weren't behind her, before turning back and walking up to us.

"Guys. Seriously," she commanded. "Let's go."

I pursed my lips and looked at Henry, who sighed saying, "Let's just stay a bit longer."

Henrietta looked at us both as if we had grown multiple heads and I couldn't even express how right she was for giving us both such an incredulous look.

"Two seconds ago, you were all let's go before we get caught Henrietta, so what the hell changed?"

I folded my arms at my chest looking anywhere but at her.

"Two seconds ago, I didn't know Harry was doing group therapy," I said.

She let out a groan, gripping at her black roots before saying, "Fine. Fine. But why are we staying? So you can listen to Harry's problems? Doesn't that kind of go against your beliefs Vi?"

I tapped into my rationality for a minute.

On one hand if I stayed then that would be a serious invasion of privacy and I couldn't do that to Harry.

On another, if I left, I'd miss my opportunity to possibly learn things about Harry, things that were personal to him and only this support group. Things I'd probably never get to hear otherwise.

I sighed.

"You're right," I conceded. "He'll tell me on his own terms when he's ready."

If he'll ever be.

Henrietta smiled before gripping my hand.

"You're doing the right-"

"Hey, I know you," a familiar voice spoke up, and my eyes widened in shock and utter despair as they connected with Liam's.