How I Heal

#15

It was hard pretending to be strong.

An act can only go so far.

As if I that wasn't hard enough on its own, I'd rate doing so, in a party setting, less than ideal on a scale of perfect to make it stop.

I don't know what possibly came over me.

Why I even thought it sensible to go to a party in my current state was a question in itself.

I wasn't forced to come.

Henry didn't show up nor did he invite me.

I willingly put on clothing and drove my car over here. Ironically but not surprisingly, I was now standing in the corner of the room counting my losses as I watched people drink questionable liquids off of each other's bodies.

I honestly felt like such an idiot.

"This party sucks, I don't wanna be here," I drawled, complaining to no one in particular.

"The speakers are blasting Taylor Swift, I'm not sure, anybody wants to be here," A blue eyed boy interrupted, walking up behind me.

I turned to face him and saw that he used his sweater covered hand to push his hair back, a smile on his face at my acknowledgment.

I laughed at his comment.

"Hey, do I know you by any chance?," He asked, taking a sip from the cup in his hand a minute later.

I looked him over, realizing that his face looked oddly familiar.

After I gave it a bit of thought I realized why I recognized him:

He was someone who I often saw at Liam's table. He was usually quiet but nonetheless, he was hard face to miss.

"Unfortunately we haven't had a formal introduction," I piped up, swirling the empty cup in my hand.

"Oh well I'm Louis," He smiled at me, extending a hand. "Any reason why you're standing in the corner of the room, completely alone, talking to yourself?"

I took his hand and firmly shook it, before retracting. "Wait...... most people don't do that?!" I sarcastically responded, before he laughed. "I'm Violet."

He made an 'Oh' face as if he had been hit with a sudden realization and I looked at him suspiciously.

"You're Harry's girlfriend right?" He asked cautiously.

He sounded as if he didn't want to step into uncharted territory, but there was no reason for him to be careful.

I shook my head woefully. "Harry and I are only friends."

I gulped as I said the word, Friends.

I never realized just how far Harry and I had come since the day we formally met. Sure there was no label to whatever we were, but there was no denying that there was something previously between us.

What made sad matters worse was the fact that I couldn't even tell if we were even still friends or not.

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.
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I walked to the kitchen eager to get my hands on an alcoholic beverage, (or just about anything the fridge had to offer at that point), and heard the sound of puke noises close by.

I poked my head over the refrigerator door, my arm resting on the top of it, as I saw a black haired girl regurgitate some weird coloured liquid into the sink.

I wrinkled my nose, visibly cringing at the sight but shut the refrigerator door and walked over there.

I stood behind the girl, previously known as my best friend, grabbing her hair in my fist as she finished throwing up the rest of her guts.