How I Heal

twenty one

Einstein once said insanity is doing the same thing to us over and over again and expecting different results.

Maybe that was a true notion.

Whether it was true or not lay engraved in the fact that insane was the only way I felt after Henrietta's heart breaking news. It all started with a question.

"When was the last time you saw Harry?" My best friend wondered.

I eyed the food on my tray, my presence there, but not quite there, my physical self capturing the sound of her voice, but my mind absent. My mind ran on the day Harry took me to the log cabin and walked me home. It didn't feel like very long ago but her question made me realize the timespan.

"A few days ago, why?" I questioned, not caring in the slightest if my voice sounded too concerning.

"I haven't seen him around here for a while now," She mumbled throwing a piece of food in her mouth. "In fact, nobody really has. Just this morning I saw Liam going around asking anybody if they've seen Harry at school."

I shifted in my seat. Liam didn't know where Harry was.

That was extremely strange.

"What do you mean?" I muttered rhetorically. I was silently praying that this was all a practical joke that my best friend was harassing me with to get me to discuss my feelings.

When a few seconds passed and she was still giving me a wide stare, my body started processing more carbon dioxide than oxygen.

"Calm down Vi, I'm sure your little boyfriends okay," Henrietta told me, her voice attempting to be assuring but sounding far from it.

"It's really not the time for that right now," I told her, trying my best not to sound snappy.

She sighed. "Okay, you're right, but I'm sure Harry is okay. Maybe he just needed a little time to be alone right now."

I looked down as she said, "Granted it's been three days and that's not exactly a 'little time'-"

"Okay, we heard you," I softly replied, hoping she'd stop picking at scabs. Every word that seemed to leave her lips stung more than it should have.

"I mean, maybe we should talk about something else," she suggested, her tone suddenly dry. "I probably shouldn't have brought it up."

"Where's Henry?" I asked her since she wanted to change the subject.

She gave me too fast of a glance before she awkwardly cleared her throat and took up her fork. "I'm not sure."

"Henrietta do not lie to me," I told her, wondering why she would ever think that was a good idea.

"He's not here right now," she said, picking at her food. As if that much wasn't obvious.

When she realized I wouldn't let go that easily, she sighed.

"Okay okay," she admitted. "He's with Kourtney."

I popped an eyebrow. "Alright so big deal, why would you need to lie about that?"

She shrugged. "He feels bad about his choices. He didn't want anybody to know he took her back after... you know."

I let out a breath, stretching my hand across the table and touching hers. "He doesn't need to apologize for caring about someone. It's his life and he should feel okay doing what makes him happy no matter what. Tell him I said that."

Henrietta looked at me with something like a gleam in her eyes before she slowly moved her hand away. "You're right." She sighed. "And you shouldn't have to either."

I looked at her, my heart sinking as my mind ran on Harry no matter how much I tried to force it out. How could nobody know where he went? I mean, him disappearing didn't sound completely out of character, but if even Liam was unaware of his leave that was something to worry about.

"I have to go," I suddenly stood up. There was no way I could sit there and pretend to be unbothered.

"Oh," she said, her sympathy fading into disappointment. "Alright."

I eyed her in silence. I felt horrible for leaving, but I couldn't sit and eat knowing Harry was possibly out there somewhere, alone.

"If you need anything just call me," I reassured her genuinely. "Please don't think of this as me leaving you. I just need to know what's going on. Nothing can come between us Henrietta."

I gave her a solid expression. "Ever."

That seemed to soothe her a bit as she nodded in what I assumed to be acceptance.

"Just do what you need to do Vi," she told me giving me a close mouthed smile. "I'll understand."

I responded with a smile equal to hers as I quickly walked past her.

I had to find out why Harry would just disappear like that.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Almost as soon as I walked out of the cafeteria I ran into Liam.

"Liam," I called out. "You're exactly the person I needed to see right now."

"Violet," He kindly smiled (although it looked a bit forced)." How are you?"

"I could ask you that," I ran a hand through my hair. "I heard the news about Harry."

"Yeah," he scratched his arm. "He's been gone for quite some time now actually."

I looked away from him trying to contain my emotions. There was no way Harry would leave without a trace like that. There had to be some type of explanation or reason for any of this.

"Do you have any idea where he would be?" He asked, his voice solid but his expression hurt. His slumped demeanor showed the pain his voice was masking so well. "Any idea at all?"

My mind scanned all possible options, the only sensible one being the cabin.

I wanted to tell Liam, I really did, but something in the back of my mind told me that was the type of information that you keep classified.

"I'm not sure," I said, looking away from him.

"If you see him, let me know," Liam told me, his voice on edge. "It's really for his own good."

I nodded half heartedly, watching as he walked away. My hand found a resting place on my neck as I thought of my best approach.

I looked up at the ceiling as I came to the only suitable conclusion.

I had to go back to that cabin.

________

Please tap that little star :)