How I Heal

seven

Previously

As I walked to class, I could feel cold large fingers grip my shoulder, and when I spun around I came face to face to with familiar brown curls.

"Hey," Henry breathed out. "Are you okay?"

-

I blinked for several seconds trying to register his question.

"Yeah," I smiled convincingly, trying my best not to show him how much of a bad day this was turning into. "I am."

He smiled knowingly, placing his hands on my shoulder before saying, "I'll take your word for it, but if you need me I'm here."

I smiled genuinely this time, my sealed lips curling upwards as he took me into a hug.

Henry was really one of the only people in the world who I could say was always dependable, besides Henrietta and my parents. I knew he knew when I wasn't okay or at my best, but he never pressured a conversation out of me.

I had one sibling but I never grew up with him so I basically lived as an only child, avoiding everybody in my family and choosing instead to make friends at school.

Henry was one of the good ones I'd picked up along the way.

"Thanks so much," I told him, my gratitude bouncing off the walls. "I really needed that."

He smiled wholeheartedly before jokingly punching my arm and running off.

I watched him all the way till he turned the corner then I exhaled heavily, urging myself to just finish the remainder of classes I had for the day.

____________

You know that old expression that goes, when it rains it pours?

A new day was here and followed by its arrival was rain and bad decisions and believe me when I said it poured, both literally and metaphorically.

It was ironic how the one and only time I considered going to band practice, I was trapped here in this room, the band members trying to get their act together because for whatever reason, nobody could decide what song they thought was best, and the pouring rain outside didn't make their screams any quieter.

I was beside myself, waiting for them to give me some kind of cue when they were ready, (granted I didn't know if I could still play or not) but something in the back of my mind told me, I'd be waiting a hot minute before then.

As the chirpy girl who's name I learnt learnt to be Kai, started to bicker with some bleached blonde, I took that as an opportunity to ditch my sticks and slip out.

I really needed some air.

I proceeded to stroll the lonely corridors, the only evident sound being the scratch of my nikes on the polished floor. I walked rather slowly, a steady pace that meant I was in no hurry to go wherever the hell I was going, for really I had no desired destination, but I halted at the unexpected sound of cough.

In fact I heard several, before a cleared throat, and I tried to peek through the crack of the door where the strange sound was coming from.

There I saw Harry surrounded by various instruments, a hum in his throat as if to clear its tar path from years of smoking, and I watched him eagerly as he gripped the microphone that lay in the center of the room.

The room looked like a lonely place but the look on his face told me he was even lonelier.

He seemed nervous as he looked ahead at an audience that didn't exist, his expression adjusting to fit his "rock star" persona.

"I'll be singing an original," he muttered, then crinkled his nose to show obvious discomfort.

He didn't sound unfamiliar with this type of thing but he did seem extremely anxious, and I waited in anticipation and fear, longing to hear exactly what he had in store.

"Same lips red, same eyes blue, same white shirt, couple more tattoos," he hummed. "But It's not you, it's not me."

My eyes widened at his singing ability and it took everything in me not to burst in there and tell him how talented he was.

He continued his song for as long as it went on, gripping the microphone and closing his eyes tightly as he said, "Were just two ghosts standing in the place of you and me."

The emotion in his voice left me in awe and it felt like several moments before I realized that I was wrong for standing by and listening to his piece without his knowledge.

I shook off the thought, telling myself that this was school after all and he must have expected somebody to hear considering this was a public space.

"Trying to remember how it feels to have a heartbeat," he slowly drawled, his eyes still closed as he finished his song.

I was fucking blown away at the prospect of Harry singing in front of crowds, if he could sing this well in the solitary existence he lived in, one could only imagine what his live performances would sound like.

I watched him step down from the microphone, and I instinctively stepped back from the door, knowing that if he saw me, it wouldn't end well for either of us.

As I was about to turn to go, I felt large hands spin me back around, the livid expression on his face worsening his already intimidating stance.

"Did you really think I wouldn't see you?" He snapped. "Do you not comprehend the prospect of personal space?"

I cringed at his harshness, the reality that he was angry at something I had intentionally done making me want the ground to swallow me whole.

He must have realized how fearful I had grown at his fury, because he let go of my arm and stepped back slightly.

"I-I'm sorry," he mumbled almost incoherently.

Anyone could see he regretted his cruelty but something in me told me it was not something he could fight,
Not easily at least.

"It's okay," I nodded, wrapping my arms around myself. "I'm sorry for spying on you again."

The emphasis I placed on the word again must have sounded too exaggerated because he made a face before a slight chuckle left his lips.

A laugh?

Strange.

"You're so odd honestly," he shook his head, something authentic in his speech.

I shyly looked at him, still feeling uncomfortable because he caught me staring but attempted not to show it.

"You have a great voice," I commented.

It was the only honest thing I could think to say in a moment like this.

I guess whatever I said wasn't what he needed to hear though, because his smile faltered as soon as the words left my lips.

"Thank you I suppose," he mumbled.

He looked down on his hand which held a watch, and three bands I've never noticed, before a panicked look struck his features.

"I have to go," he quickly pronounced.

I continued to stare before he said, "I'll,
see you around I guess."

He gave a nod that looked like it was supposed to be polite and then sped past me.

I watched him walk away before Kai came back into view.

"Why aren't you at practice?" She asked sounding aggravated.

I huffed as a reply before letting her take my wrist, her tiny frame dragging me back to the small room of loud people.