Spoiling the Maknae

fifteenth

a trigger warning, mentions of negative and suicidal thoughts- read at your own risk.

A pair of tired eyes fluttered open for the first time of the day.

Jungkook sighed as he was met with the ceiling upon waking up. He desperately tried to close his eyes once again, praying he wouldn't have to wake up.

He sighed as he heard the familiar harsh knock on his door, followed by a few shouts of him getting his ass up and ready for the day that was waiting for him.

Probably a horrible one once again.

He shrugged as he slowly got up from his bed and stared at his door, finally getting the strength to get up.

He deserved the horrible day after all of the things he did anyways.

Jungkook never saw it coming, never knew or sensed that one day, He was going to hate waking up.

He didn't know when this started, maybe when he felt that his hyungs were already fed up by him and his attitude, or maybe when he always messed up? maybe it's because of him gaining weight, there were endless possibilities of when he started having thoughts.

He always wished, even prayed for himself not to wake up the next day, at the end of each passing day, he always dreaded when he went to sleep, knowing that he would wake up once again tomorrow.

It wasn't his hyungs' fault, It wasn't anyone's.

Maybe he lost his drive, His will to wake up or to live, He missed the days where he was just the age of 15, he was always excited to wake up in order to practice with his hyungs.

But now, he feels that he doesn't have any reason to.

He just goes on the day, acting as if it everything was fine, He frowned at the multiple snickers the others made when he had his back turned, but he could still hear the faint complaints where the others got too annoyed with him.

He was too, to be completely honest.

He was annoyed for the fact that he couldn't just disappear and let everybody live their lives at it should be.

He managed to get up from bed and take a shower, He got prepared for the day, for they had this variety show scheduled.

As he gripped the doorknob of his room, he mustered out a smile, a small smile, but it was still there.

They got inside the van, all seven of them with the driver / manager.

He sat in the passenger seat, wanting to sleep a bit more and ignore whatever conversations his hyungs had that he wasn't apart of, not anymore. He shut himself out, thinking it would be the best.

But little did he know, his hyungs got a bit more agitated at him, thinking that he was arrogant and let him be.

They arrived at the set, there were seven chairs in the middle of the set. The place wasn't that much, just white walls and a couple of chairs for the group, and some chairs for the hosts themselves.

He was sat in the middle at first, but he felt really uncomfortable to becoming the person that the camera focused on the most.

He exchanged his seats and sat on the far end, away from the hosts.

He looked at the crew behind the camera who had all sorts of scripts as they announced that they were filming in a few seconds.

He craned his neck from left to right and took a deep sigh as he once again mustered out the smile he had.