The Sinister blade

T H R E E : K A T A R I N A

Hey guys, before Chapter Three starts, I wanted to share the song I had stuck in my head while writing it.. wish you enjoy! xx 

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'' Is everything okay? '' Hugo asks as he rinses the trees in the Nautria garden.

'' Yeah. Everything is fine. '' I still manage to fake smiles through the mess that's going on inside of my head.

'' I heard about the raid Kat. '' His brown eyes hold too much worry. '' Are you okay? '' He asks me the question I haven't heard from anyone for months. After the raid, when people see me, they ask about my Dad. 

How's Albert Kat? How's Talon? How did they manage to fix what you ruined? They never ask if I fixed what they destroyed inside of me. My confidence, my happiness, my peaceful relation with the world.

'' Yeah. I've never been better. '' I still insist on keeping my thoughts to myself. I can't trust anyone inside of the tribe and especially those who know exactly what happened. It is my duty to protect myself and what is left of dignity that I hold. Therefore, I keep silent when I'm asked about the raid.

Since I fell off the cliff, I got more attached to that place more than I was before. I spend hours on the rocks with Cassiopeia. Listening to the stories she has. 

The adventures she heard of inside of the ocean, and outside of it. And the ones she personally lived while swimming from an ocean to another. She never told me anything personal. She never asked me about my personal life either. 

Every night I spent on the rocks with her went too fast than it should.

'' You need a friend Kat. '' Hugo cuts my thoughts again. '' You seem so lonely. ''

'' I am not lonely. '' I burst a laugh hoping my acting is good enough to convince him that I'm thinking of how right he is.

'' Oh, then when was the last time you spoke to someone about how you feel? '' He insists on talking about feelings. It's the one thing I've been trying to run away from. My feelings. And I made a good progress so far. I haven't felt anything for a while. No sorrow, no happiness, nothing. 

When I lay down to sleep, I only hear numb heart beats. Ones which don't care about the past. Ones which aren't worried about the future. I currently shut those feelings off. They are back to life only when Cassiopeia is around. I laugh for real with her. I joke for real. I am myself when she is around, I don't try to be anyone else. 

Mainly, because she never reminds me of how deep I am hurt. Nor of how sorry I should be for myself.

'' When was the last time you spoke to Elina? '' Hugo sees that I started getting annoyed of his questions. I want him to stop insisting that I'm not okay. 

I am fine. I always was numb, and I will manage to always be numb. He insists that I am broken. I am, but he is also insisting that I should talk to my father to mend things. 

Hugo believes that communicating with my family members will put us back together. He thinks he knows me and my family. While in fact he has no idea what Du Couteaux house is like.

'' I have to go. '' I smile. '' Have a nice day Hugo. '' I can tell that he was expecting me to shout at him. But I don't. I manage to stay calm. I manage to control my anger.

As it gets dark, I leave again to the cliff waiting for Cassiopeia. No one notices my absence, nor that I have sneaked out again. Cassiopeia and I have been meeting on this cliff for a couple of months now. Yet nobody has noticed my absence at home nor was curious to ask where I disappear until the dawn. 

Cassiopeia usually shows up around 1 am. But tonight, she doesn't. I keep staring at the clock and waiting for her. It's already 3 a.m and she hasn't showed up yet. I think of Hugo's words and how lonely I am. 

I start thinking if I should tell Cassiopeia the things I can't tell anyone else. Like the voices that keep talking to me. Reminding me of how dark my soul is. Encouraging me to hurt myself. I think of all the things which are too heavy for me to carry. I try not to cry. Those tears always show up when I think of all the problems I have at once. Especially when I remember that it's me against my family, my tribe, and the whole world. The wind blows fiercely. 

As I stare over the horizon, I notice something moving from far away. It is coming towards me. I step away a bit just in case if it isn't the person which I wish it is. It moves so fast that it forms a wave and makes it hit so hard on the rock. I get all wet from head to toe. It's then when I realize for sure it is Cassiopeia.

'' Seriously! '' I scream. She laughs at how I look like now. My clothes are stuck on my body. The daggers attached to my waist and thighs are dripping as well. Cassiopeia takes a seat on the rock which I am standing on.

'' Come. '' She pats on it inviting me to sit next to her. '' You still carry those things with you. '' She points at my daggers. '' Is there a possibility that you are still afraid of me? ''

'' I never was afraid of you. '' I notice her stare trying to remind me of how I reacted when I first saw her. '' I only jumped off because It was the first time I see a snake-woman. '' It is only after I say it that I notice how it came out wrong. But I don't apologize. I never do.

'' Why are you late tonight? '' I try to change the subject and hope she will forget what I just called her.

'' I had things to handle with my best friend. '' Her words make me wonder what kind of friend that is. I start thinking it is one of her kind, a supernatural creature. It would never come to my mind that Cassiopeia has friends. I thought that the strength she holds inside of her comes from loneliness, sorrow, betrayal. Every bad thing that life can throw in someone's way during his journey.

'' Oh. '' I start thinking of what Hugo pointed at this morning. You need a friend Kat. You are so lonely. '' Cassiopeia. '' I watch her as she watches her tail move around. '' How did you know I come from Noxus tribe? '' The last time she saved me, Cassiopeia clearly said that I belong to Noxus tribe. It seemed weird to me that she knows such information, but I didn't want to question her.

'' Everyone belongs to a tribe in this island. '' She simply clarifies. '' Why are you asking? '' I assume she thinks I am still scared of her.

'' I was hoping you know my tribe. And maybe people from it. '' When she hears my words, she angrily turns to face me. Her yellow eyes are into mine again. Weakening me. 

I rethink of when she said I might die if I stare into her eyes for so long. Those eyes do things to my body. They certainly have a power. '' At least telling you my life story would be much easier. You wouldn't have to make so much efforts trying to imagine them. '' I try to amend the situation with a joke. Her anger fades. Her eyes are normal again and she smiles.

'' I have a wide imagination. '' She turns to look at the ocean again. '' And if you want to tell me anything, I'm all ears. '' Cassiopeia encourages me to tell her about what happened. I close my eyes and it feels as if it's happening again.

'' It all started when I trusted the wrong people. '' I start telling her as I remember the events. The only things I feel now are hate, worry, and disappointment.