The Sinister blade

F I V E: K A T A R I N A

I peer at Talon and remember Cassiopeia's words. If he is angry, its because of his love. You could've died in that fight. But I still insist that his anger was focused on him losing the battle.

I stand at my brother's front door and watch him wearing on his combat custom. I smile when I think of the reasons most girls love Talon. They adore his thick brown hair. They enjoy watching his dimples which show through his half smile.

I don't blame them, even my best friend Elina loved him. She loved him for a couple of reasons but the one which she mentioned most was how protective he is. I don't deny this fact.

Talon is my guardian angel. He is the only one who can make me laugh when I'm going through bad days. Probably this is the reason why It's been a while since I laughed. Because he isn't talking to me.

Talon wears on his cloak, fixes the daggers around his waist. He turns around and finally notices my presence.

'' What do you want? '' He finally spoke to me after months of ignorance. I get confused. I was expecting him to leave and not even stare at me.

'' um... '' I'm not sure if I should apologize again, or simply ignore everything that happened. '' I was curious about where were you going at this early time? '' I choose the second one. But his eyes tell me that it was a bad idea. Ignorance doesn't work with him well. I should've known this because Talon never ignores issues, he faces them.

'' We haven't spoken for months and this is what you say when we do? '' He half smiles. Mocking me. Just be his little sister, the one he is used too. He will forgive you eventually. Cassiopeia's advice pops to my mind.

'' I thought maybe changing the subject will make things better. '' I hope he says anything that keeps the conversation going. I felt a hole in my heart for days. But now that I have heard his voice, it feels much better.

Even if he is still angry at me, which I can tell from his face expressions that he is. Talon is so bad with hiding his feelings. He always was easy to read for me. And that's what broke me even more. I could read through his face how angry he is. How much he doesn't want to see me, nor speak to me.

'' It won't Kat. Nothing will change the fact that you made me lose the most important battle in my entire life. '' He walks towards me.

Show him how sad you are, this is the only way he can forgive you. No one will understand how much you're hurt unless you show it Kat. I talked to Cassiopeia about Talon for hours. She suggested too many solutions for me, and I made sure I remember most of them.

'' It wasn't my fault. '' I make sure he sees how broken I am through my words, my eyes. And I wonder if I am doing it right. It's something I have never done before. I'm Kat Du Couteaux. The cold-blooded assassin. She never shows her true feelings to people. He isn't people, he is your brother. When I remember the fact that I lost my brother for months, I lose control of my tears.

'' Does this word have a magical effect and will turn back time? '' He shouts at me. '' Will it make me get another chance to fight and prove myself in front of thousands of people? '' He hits me with the truth. He is right. I can't argue.

'' I thought I can trust him! '' I still defend myself. '' He is your best friend Talon. '' I remind him. I swallow my tears and sorrow as I speak. I stand still waiting for his next word-attack.

What was I thinking when I thought of showing him my weakness? Cassiopeia doesn't know the Du Couteaux. The only thing she knows is we are assassins. Born to be ones.

'' Not every guy I hang out with is my best friend. '' He stands few inches afar from me. He is too close that his brown eyes speak for him. '' Not every person who tries to build a friendship bond with you is your friend. '' He tries to warn me. But I still stare right into his eyes, hoping he would understand mine.

'' Talon, '' Dad suddenly opens the door. He stands still when he sees me inside. '' You have five minutes to come down stairs. '' I look at him and his eyes are avoiding me. Like I don't even exist. He leaves before anyone of us says a word. Before even Talon responds to him.

Talon follows Dads' steps. Those are all signs for me to do not mention this subject again. Now I stand alone in his room. Watching him walking out and wishing I can fix what I broke with both of them.  '' You ruined it Kat. '' I repeat the words which led me to the cliff. '' You ruined it twice. ''

My eyes are roaming around Talon's room. It was my favourite place since I was young. Now being inside of it only reminds me of the beautiful memories I had with my brother. The one which seems like I lost him for real.

It's fine Kat. It's not your fault. I'm here for you no matter what. That's what I wish my brother would have said.

I close my eyes and see him holding my face in his hands. Rubbing my cheek with his finger. Smiling, showing his dimples. Comforting me as he always does. But when I open my eyes the ugly truth hits hard on me. I ruined every beautiful thing I had. I ruined it twice and there is no coming back from this mistake. They will never forgive me.

I walk towards Talon's window and I watch him and dad from upstairs. There he is with my father preparing to leave. I look at them and think of how to convince them to to give me a third chance? Third chances are the hardest ones to get, especially that you don't use the second one wisely. The raid was my second chance, and I wasted it. It seems it's going to be my last one.

The combat was the first sin, and the raid was the second.