My notebook (Byler)

17

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Do you think Mike thinks about me? Misses me the way I miss him? Sometimes it gets difficult to tell if he's just being a friend or if there really is meaning behind his words and actions. The way he looks at me sometimes Well I can't describe it but it's something about it that makes me melt almost immediately and I know, I know it sounds foolish but I really do like him more than I should. How could I be so selfish? He has someone he loves obviously but I still imagine his soft loveing words or his arms wrapped around me in a tight embrace. How can I sink so deeply in these thoughts yet still talk to him as if everything was completely normal? This friendship killed me but I was lucky enough he still stuck around.

I walked with Dustin and Lucas to the arcade. Well, They took their bikes but I didn't want to get there so quickly as everybody else. The anxiety built in before I even stepped out my house all because I knew I'd have to face her. El would be there and finally I had to talk to her. For Mike's sake. I knew she meant no harm and I owed her for bringing me back. I owe her.
   "Just hop on. You really should have brought your bike" Lucas said as he stopped next to me. My stomach began to act up again and I could feel myself tremble.
"Mike....El...Mike...El" I thought as I nodded and hopped on the back of His bike.
"Yeah I know. I'm sorry" I mumbled. We rode next to Dustin, who turned to me and smirked slightly.
  "Nice to know you and Mike are on good terms now" He said and then looked forward. .
   "Wait how'd you.." That's when I remembered that he had been my look out. My stalker attacker.
   "Oh" I stopped for a moment before continuing. "Yeah. I forgot about that. Well we just made up" I said. He only smiled more.
   "With a romantic dinner?" He asked. Lucas looked at Dustin. "What?!" He said quickly.
   "It wasn't like that, Dustin! Lucas ,Mike was just- He just brought my favorite stuff for forgiveness. That's all! Really!" I could hear my voice getting higher and my body tremble more.
   "I was just kidding, Will. I'm sorry" Dustin said. I nodded and turned my head the other way. I wasn't mad at him. Just embarrassed at myself for acting so foolish.

We soon arrived to the arcade. There stood Max, El and Mike.
    "Took you long enough" Max said as she smiled wide. I got off the bike and waited for Lucas and Dustin to put them to the side.
   "Where's your bike?" Mike asked me. He looked at me then Lucas and back to me.
   "Oh it's broken" first lie to Mike. Step one to distant self. I shrugged and walked inside with Max. She was more than excited that I was around and honestly I felt bad for ignoring her all these days.
   "Max?" I said. She looked at me for a quick second before her eyes were back on the game. "Yeah? Keep talking I'm listening" she said so I let out a small sigh.
    "I'm sorry for disappearing on you. That was mean of me. I'm not mad at you or anything I was just so out of it these past days-" She slammed her fist on the machine. She had lost.
Max turned to me and looked me up and down. "There is no need to be sorry, byers. I get it. I figured you weren't mad at me just in your own world. It's okay but you do owe me." She winked at me and moved aside.          
  "Have fun for me, would you? You're walking around here like a sad dog" she chuckled. I smiled and got on the game. Her hand was now on my shoulder as she watched and cheered on for me to play the game.

Hours had passed and I had avoided Mike at all costs. I even slid under a table as he looked for me. Dustin are this and walked towards me.
   "I thought you two were better? What up with you? You've been hiding from him all day" He said. I pulled him under the table and when we both got settled in, I sighed.
    "Do you remember when I told you I loved you know who?" I said. He nodded.
   "Well" I continued. "I still do but I can't do that too him. He has El and I shouldn't be this selfish. So I need to rid these feelings before I talk to him again. Just a small break"
   "Will, that's not how to go about it. He'll corner you and you know it. He's not the type to let these things slip especially from his best friend. How long have you even liked him? Was it recent causes if its recent then it's probably just confused feelings" Dustin said with a shrug at the end.
    "4 years" I said. He closed his eyes and sighed then opened them again.
   "That isn't just a crush and it's not going anywhere anytime soon but me, being a great friend, will help you through this. Promise. Now let's go have some fun, huh?" He looked at me and smiled. I smiled back and began crawling out of the table as did he.

  (A/N: I AM SO SORRY FOR THE BORING CHAPTER But I needed to clear a few things up cause I totally ignored these few things)