My notebook (Byler)

9.

  After mom's shift, we went home, ate dinner together and straight to my room alone. Pencil in hand, notebook in my lap and too many thoughts to be put on one small notebook. His name was the only thing running through my mind and the memory of the two fights that I was stuck in between of. I had caused this and now I just wanted to run away from it because of the simple fact that no matter what, I'd side with Mike even if he was clearly wrong.

                       -Next Page-
  
  "Mike is an idiot. Max is a good friend but also an idiot.They fought again. Mike wouldn't let me talk to her! Why care now? Jealous? No no. Mike isn't like that.
Well yes he is actually. Mike is very overprotective of el but to hell all of us.

  I sat and reread what I wrote. Nodding in approval, I kept writing.

   "I hate Mike  I hate Mike I hate Mike. Jealous and angry is all Mike has been lately. Uncaring "friend", worse crush I've ever had. I hate him! I hate him because after all this, I still love him and it just makes me feel such anger and UGH I can't believe I fell for him! Why him?! Out of all-

  My notebook immediately shut when the door swung open. I shoved the notebook under my shirt and stared.
  "You alright? Kind of ran off after dinner" Jonathan said. He sat beside me on my bed. I nodded.
   "Yeah. I'm okay. Just a lot on my mind. Sorry.." I crossed my arms to keep the notebook pressed against me.
   "You sure?" Jonathan sat beside me, keeping his eyes on me. Mike crossed my mind then Dustin passed through my mind for a second.
  "Y-yeah" I responded though my mind had gone somewhere else. That somewhere else was Dustin and Max.
  All max knew was that I was upset over losing my bestfriend while Dustin knew I'm madly inlove with Mike and hurt by his decisions.
    "Will?" Jonathan's voice came back to me like a slap to the face. I looked up at an instant.
    "I'm really tired. Like really really tired" I faked a yawn. "I should be going to bed" i said as a last resort. He sighed and nodded.
   "Alright bud." He got up and before he left my room, he turned to me.
   "Are you still meeting up with your friends tomorrow?"I hadn't even thought of that. Tomorrow was a Saturday and I knew for a fact that if i missed tomorrow, they'd know something was awfully wrong with me. Jonathan would question me, Mike, Dustin and Lucas would as well then comeover and check on me. I have to go.
   "I..Yeah! Yeah of course" but I really didn't know or want to go. Jonathan smiled and nodded saying a last
  "Okay. Goodnight" and left my room. I pulled the now warm notebook out of my shirt and wrote.

  "But now I have to see him tomorrow. All of them tomorrow. I have a feeling this won't go well. Not at all"