Played by Fate (JenLisa Fanfic)

Chapter 31

Lisa's POV

"Why can't you answer my question Lisa?" She talked for how many minutes of silence.

"What?" I asked curiously
"Did I ruin your family?" She said that made me stunned again. Even me, I don't know the answer. I can't answer her question.

I'll lie if I say she didn't because she was the root of my pain and the reason why I didn't go back to my family.

I remained silent because I've no courage to talk.

She removed her body in my lap and stood up.

"Yes, I know I deserve this. I deserve the hate, I deserve everything" she said. Her tears bursted out and I hate myself because I can't do anything about it.
I don't know how to lessen the pain she's feeling right now.

I stood up and held her arm

"Jennie no--"

"Shut up! You don't have to say anything Lisa" she shook her head and covered her face with her both palm.

"Just hear me out" she pleaded. She removed her both palm from her face.

"I made a bunch of mistakes Lisa. But do you know what's the most penitent I did?" She asked me but I remained silent. I just looked at her straightly. Pain, sadness, guilt are visible to her eyes.

Shit! I can't take seeing those tears from her. I want to hug her but I know she'll stop me.

"The day I left you, that was the most regretful Lisa" her tears are falling continuously.

"Lisa the world is unfair, so unfair. Why can't I choose and decide by my own? Lisa, I wanted to choose you that time but seeing my mother begging and kneeling in front of me, knowing that my father was in coma, thinking that you were waiting for me--" she stopped and shook her head again.

"I didn't know what to do anymore to the point that I wanted to die and disappear. To the point that I don't want to live."

"Lisa, when you were hurt and wasted, did you think I was happy? Did you think I wasn't in pain? Did you think it was easy for me to move on? Did you think I didn't suffer?" I parted my lips because of her questions. But I still remained silent.

"You are my world, you are my life, and you are my everything Lisa. Yes I fucking left you, but all the feelings you felt when I left you, I felt that also."

"I'm only a burden to you, right?"

"Fuck no! Don't say that Ruby Jane! Don't you ever say that again!" I quickly answered. Anger started to wrapped my system.

"I am" she said and laughed between her tears.

"I don't deserve you Lisa"
"You deserve me" I answered

"Shut the fuck up! I don't deserve you! You're too good for me Lisa" she said and started to sob. I closed my eyes not because of madness but because I can't endure seeing her in this state.

"Are you blind?" She asked and I opened my eyes. I didn't answer.

"I left you! I hurted you! Why do you still care for me? Why do you still love me? Why did you accept me?" She asked.

"Because I love you! I love you Jennie and nothing can change that!" I shouted at her.

She shook her head "I don't deserve everything Lisa, even my family and friends I don't deserve them, especially you"

She grabbed her purse.

"I think I should go, I'll just find a condo. I don't want to hurt you again Lisa. You deserve better. I'm not worth fighting for." she said and walked towards the door.

I quickly run for her and stopped her.

"Hell no! You're not going to leave me again Ruby Jane, not this time!" I grabbed her arms to faced me.

She looked at me with sadness and pain in her eyes. I wiped her tears and smiled.

"Aigooo~you're still a cry-baby" I hugged her and kissed her forehead.

"I deserve you Nini. You're the strongest woman in this world. I'm so proud of you. I will fight for you even the fate lead us to different path, I will fight for you. You're worth it and you deserve everything." I said while looking straightly to her eyes. She was stunned and dived her face to the crook of my neck. She cried and hugged me tightly.

"I love you. I love you. I love you Lili" she said and I kissed her hair.

"I love you more baby"

"Stop with those tears" I abet her head from my neck.

My palm caressed her cheek that is soaked of tears.

She don't deserve this.

I tried to get rid off her face from being covered with tears.

"There is no safe place when you fall in love" I looked straightly into her cat eyes that is obviously begging me to stop the pain she's feeling inside.

"When you fall in love, you must expect the pain is just behind you, we can't run away from the truth that you'll never know that your in love unless you can't feel the pain, and manufacture a mistake" 

"I must admit that in the first place, I was hurt but then I can see how you regret from doing that to me and that is already enough for me to again accept you, because that's how I love and value you in my life. Remember this Jennie, no mistake and pain can take that away from you" I sincerely stated.

"I thought I can never have you again" she finally directed to her point and smiled weakly.

"You always have me" I smiled and place my forehead into her.

I wish we could be always like this
We both don't deserve what we suffered from the past.

And we both made a mistake.
In her it was when she left me and in me when I didn't even consider that we both have different responsibilities in our own lives.

Really, when you're happy pain follows.

That's the reality of life we cannot hide.
That's how unfair the world is.
Yes, reality sucks

Ready for the next chapter? Sorry for the late updaaaate!