Dear Ashton,

12.

Dear Ashton, 

Its been a few weeks since I last wrote you.

I guess even though you'll never read these, I still get embarrassed. 

Anyways, Luke saw my cuts for the first time since he took me to the hospital. He cried.

He actually cried. 

I don't understand why, but I cried from seeing him doing it. 

He made me promise him I wouldn't do it again. Just like you did.

I couldn't agree with it at first, but he told me he'd help me. 

Why is Luke helping me? Am I a charity case everyone seems to think needs some goddamn help? Cause I don't! I live alone now I can take damn good care of myself!

But who am I kidding? I cant live on my own. I'm a danger to myself.

I promised Luke I'd stop. He smiled and kissed my torn up arm, and then my tummy, and then finally my thighs.

It felt weird, but it also felt good. To know someone actually cares still.

I miss you so much Ash.

Love, Riley xxx