Dear Ashton,

21.

Dear Ashton,

Its been a few weeks since I last wrote you, but I have a lot to say.

I wrote a few more songs, and the boys and I are getting a lot of attention on the internet. 

Have you seen us?

Luke has been acting weird lately, but he says we're fine, so I don't push it.

I've been alone a lot for a while. I don't like being alone. I think too much when that happens.

I've been thinking about you more and more.

I haven't heard anything about your tour, or you in general. But I'm assuming time wise you should be close to finishing soon.

I did see a bunch of young girls at the mall wearing shirts that said things like:

"I prefer the drummer."

"Future Mrs. Irwin."

"Lol but you're not Ashton Irwin."

They made me laugh to myself, because you're becoming quite the craze my Australian friend.

I ran into Louis the other day, and he actually helped me write one of my songs to you. 

He's a goofball, much like you. 

But I had no idea, he and Harry were a thing? 

Did you know?

I think its really fucking cute! 

LARRY STYLINSON! 

That's their ship name Ash (;

The song he helped me write its called 'Strong'.

I think it means more for you than Luke, as fucked up as that sounds, but now that I think about it. Luke never really replaced you.

If he had, I would've stopped the letters.

I wouldn't think of you.

But I did.

I do.

You were always there, and now you've gotten me to write you 4 songs.

-Amnesia

-Strong

-Half A Heart

-Still Into You

But shhh. Don't tell anyone.

Oh! The boys and I have an audition for 'America's Got Talent' in a few more weeks so we've been hustling around to get everything just right.

We're going to Los Angeles for it so Calum is super happy. 

"Fancy shopping bitches! We're coming back in style!" 

He screamed.

I uploaded a video to my own YouTube channel. It was 'Going To Hell' by The Pretty Reckless.

I was having a moment that day. But I think it still came out nice. 

Sometimes I wonder if you still watch me. I know some of your fans, saw me. They looked you up I suppose and one of my videos popped up when you did that duet of "Take Care" By Drake with me. 

Remember that?

Some fans think we were super cute.

Some think you're better with blondie.

I don't know anymore. 

I miss you and I love you, but damn it I love Luke.

I mean come on. He's my Lukey. :/

I should probably call him and try and make us happy and giddy again.

I love him Ashton.

But I love you.

And because of that I'm slowing losing myself.

I don't know what to do anymore.

Love, Riley

xxx