Dear Ashton,

26.

~Riley's POV

"Dear Ashton," I started those familiar words I've been writing more and more each day I'm locked in here. It's now become a routine to just write to him. Ashton is like that invisible friend younger kids have because they have no one. He's there, but you can't touch him, see him, or hold him. I miss him more and more with everyday that passes, but I'm not going to loose it anymore. I have friends that need me.

I finished writing only to hear my door creak open.

"Hey, Ri? You've got a surprise visitor." Calum said popping his head into my hospital room wearing a wide Cheshire cat smile.

"Um, who is it?" I asked, smiling but still suspicious because no one visits me besides the boys and they practically live here.

"I think you'll wanna see for yourself." He said still smiling at me like I was his favorite person in the world.

I laughed at him, and looked down at my journal shoving my pen in the spirals and placing it on the small table nearby. But when I looked up, I didn't expect my secret visitor to be who it was.

Calum had been holding the door open looking between me and them still smiling, and slowly turning to head back into the hall, closing the door behind him.

There he was.

He was here.

"Ash-Ashton?" I stuttered out quite shocked that if speaking too quickly he'd disappear again.

His blonde curls were poking up in several directions, with a black bandana across his forehead. His LED- ZEPPELIN shirt clinging to his perfectly fit body matched with his casual black skinny jeans and black vans.

"Riley." He nodded his head towards me.

He was standing at the end of my bed, hands shoved in the back pockets of his jeans, as his eyes drifted to his feet where he was kicking the ground.

Some part of me was really irritated with how he was acting, like he had a right to act like he didnt want to see me, much less be around me.

Another part of me, was really terrified that he was really here. That one movement too fast will make him bolt for the exit. I can't handle loosing him again, but that's the saddest part of it all. He's not mine.

So why am I so scared of loosing someone who isn't even mine to begin with?

"How did this, um, happen? Why, er, are you in here?" Ashton spoke up quietly gesturing to the room clearly wanting a reason why I'm in the hospital.

My throat felt really dry but I had to push through it and give him the truth.

"Luke, and I, we um, we." I was at a loss for words which was really stupid.

Ashton scoffed at my pathetic excuse of a sentence.

"You and Luke," he mumbled.

I swallowed hard. "We got into an argument and I ran out the hotel, driving off angry. I was too caught up in my anger and sadness I cut off a few cars, causing me and two other vehicles to wreck. I've been here since." Guilt and hurt lined my voice. I can't say its his fault cause in the end it really isn't. I was the stupid one.

"So you and Luke fight and your resort is to practically kill yourself and other people? Can't live without him that much huh?" He spat, tears brimming his eyes causing me to snap.

"We were fighting over you! In case you didn't notice Luke and I aren't a compatible couple together! He's my friend! He's your friend! But you wouldn't know what those were since you dumped me and the rest of them over in London. You started a lie of a life for yourself, Irwin! Everything about you is fake now. You dress the same and play the drums the same, but you damn well don't act the same. The Ashton I knew was always cheerful no matter what the fuck was going on. The Ashton I loved, the one I LOVE, was always there for me and for his friends. He wouldn't abandon us. So yes Luke and I fought and I could've killed myself and other people, but I didn't. He yelled at me about you! That you left me and didn't love me! That I was making it harder for him by writing fucking Amnesia about you! By wearing your fucking shirts to bed! Sorry for never getting over you Ash. Sorry for not being able to let go of the one person I was ever in love with!" I cried out, tears brushing down my cheeks for the first time in a few days. He looked taken aback by my outburst, he seemed confused about it all.