Starkly in Love- A Spiderman x Reader

Chapter 27: Square One

  Fire the gun. A silent command filled my head. It echoed as if my head was empty, but it was far from it. I could feel the rest of me screaming at my body to act as my own, but the foreign master in my mind had locked that option away.

  So my finger moved, pushing the trigger back and hitting a target across the room.

  Go find your bullet. My feet pulled me across the room under the pressing eyes of too many scientists behind a glass wall.

  I found my bullet by some miracle. It was barely intact.

  Bring it to me. So I turned on my heel and held it up to the glass window, walking towards it.

  A door swung open and Robert stepped out into the room. My body joltingly turned to him and dropped the bullet in his outstretched hand.

  "Good," he said audibly.

  He turned the bullet over in his hand before fixing a piercing stare on me. "You're ready, little daughter."

  I wanted to rip his teeth out; I was not his daughter despite what genetics would say.

  Follow me. In inaudible command reverberated in my skull. I followed him dumbly into a narrow hall which led to one door. He pulled it open and gestured for me to enter, which I obviously did.

  "Goodnight, sweet," he gave me a sour smile and yanked the door shut.

  His hold on my thoughts released and I collapsed on the ground.

  I didn't realize that my whole body was tense until I took my first deep breath. The oxygen was a literal breath of fresh air.

  I let myself lay back and stare at the ceiling with one clear thought in my head, now my own.

  'I'm back at square one.'

**********

  After the whole fiasco, I was left with a headache beyond any I'd ever experienced before. The pain in my head felt like it was vibrating everything inside it, from my blood to cerebellum. The ache spread to my stomach, making it churn and mess with my gag reflex.

  The sickness in my stomach may also have been attributed to the fact that this was the third time I'd felt inches from freedom. I'd been a second from normal life only to have it ripped miles away from my open hands.

  My head was full of nothing and everything.

**********

  She's ready.

**********

  I woke up and I was at the end of my house's driveway. Richard had set me free and I knew why. He didn't need my body to have control over me.

  My instinct was to run. I wanted to run back to Void's hell hole of a lab and beg him to kill me. But the voice in my head playing me like a chess piece had other plans.

  Go home, he commanded me and I did. My feet didn't even drag as I walked back to the one place I thought I would be safe. 

  I was the enemy spy as I rang the doorbell. I was the parasite when my dad flung open the door and pulled me into the tightest hug I'd ever felt.

  "(Y/N)," He whispered into my hair, "Thank God you're safe."

  I wanted to pull away from him and scream at him that I could hurt him. Any moment I could be told to hurt, even kill, the one man who had stuck by me through everything despite myself. If I hurt him I wouldn't be able to live with myself even if that meant leaving Peter.

  "I was so scared," I found myself saying with fake tears filling up my eyes.

  "I know, baby-" he hadn't called me baby in years-"you're safe now."

  I tried to warn him that that was not the case. He had just brought a secret agent into his house with open arms. I was going to hurt someone, I just knew it.

  Despite all of this, I was in the kitchen with a bowl of my favorite soup cooling in front of me. My stomach was churning but I still ate it, spoon full by spoon full. I excused myself when I finished this I watched myself walk upstairs to my bedroom.

  Regan was waiting in my room. I felt surprised but I had no reaction. I honestly had forgotten about him and how he had been at my every beck and call. He stared at me quizzically, brows furrowed.

  He dug around in his uniform pocket and pulled out a lighter. While I watched he flicked a flame to life and held it inches away from my face. I wanted to run, but like so many other things today, my body wouldn't respond to my command.

  A gleeful smile broke on his face and he flicked the lighter closed.

  "He did it! Ole' Richy did it," he cheered to himself.

  "Oh how much fun we'll have together," he grinned, now directing his attention to me. He took my hands from where they hung, useless, at my sides.

  I hated the way he smiled at me knowingly. He'd seen me with Peter, he knew that I loved him and that doing this would make me squirm on the inside.

**********

  Days went by with me stuck in my prison-like body. Regan started cuddling up to me around my dad which I hated. I couldn't stop staring into his eyes, literally, I could not stop.

  I was honestly kind of hurt that my dad didn't notice my stiff behavior. Since when was I the girl to make lovey eyes with my 'boyfriend' when my friend was still in the jaws of death.

  Finally, Happy picked up on something that Void made me do even though I never did. I never bit or picked at my nails, ever. I always made a point to cut my hangnails off the second I found them and I kept my nails at a consistent, manageable length. But whoever programmed my motions decided that the proper reaction to something nerve-racking news about Peter was to bite my nails.

  Happy looked over at me and frowned, watching as I bit my pointer nail. He'd always teased me about how picky I was when it came to manicuring myself. 

  From that point on, he kept a wary, slash concerned, eye on me.

  I could only pray that he picked up on me being not me.