His Last Hope

29

Trigger Warning
Peter was lying on the couch in the tower with his head on Tony's lap who was awake running his hand though Peter's curls. He stayed awake to make sure he didn't have another nightmare. He wanted to be there if he did.

Peter still wasn't asleep yet but tried to be, he didn't want to tell his dad he was still awake either. All he could think about was dying, he knew it would be better off that way, he knew it was the only way out.

He turned on his back and looked up at his dad, who smiled slightly, "thought you were asleep."

"I can't," Peter said with no emotion.

"What's wrong kiddo?"

"Nothing I'm fine," he said as he sat up.

"It's okay if your not," he said softly knowing that he wasn't.

"I'm fine," Peter said as he stood up, "Im gonna have a bath and then go back to bed."

"Okay, just please don't...don't hurt yourself or anything okay?"

"I won't," he lied forcing a small smile.

"Alright, I'll see you in the morning."

"Yeah," Peter said walking out the door and towards his room.

He locked his door and got his pyjamas ready for after and he got the blade from his desk. He told Natasha he was having a bath before locking the doors.

He was getting the bath ready while taking his clothes off and he put the blade on the edge. He got in once it was warm enough and just sat there with his head on the wall letting his thoughts consume him.

Peter soon went under the water holding his breath, he opened his eyes looking at the ceiling. He wondered what would happen if he listened to the voice in his head that was telling him not to go back up.

He didn't want to but he soon sat back up and picked up the blade. He looked at it before holding it to his thigh, not hesitating before dragging it across.

He done it again and again going deeper than he meant, watching as the blood started to mix with the water.

After a while he got out and dried himself before getting his pyjamas on. He washed out the bath so that the blood didn't stain and unlocked the doors before walking into his room putting his blade back where it was.

Peter got into bed after turning his light off hoping to get a good nights sleep for once.

••

Peter woke up and looked at his clock on his bed side table and saw that he had slept the rest of night. He saw that it was almost ten, the longest he'd slept in a while.

He got out of bed before walking down the stairs to see if anyone was awake. Once he walked into the living room he saw Clint sitting on the couch watching tv.

"Morning kid," he said when he noticed him.

"You leaving?" Peter questioned when he saw his bag by the door when walking to the kitchen.

"Yeah, wanted to say goodbye to Nat and everyone else before I went though."

Peter got a glass of water considering whether or not to have something to eat and decided to just have a granola bar. As he headed towards the stairs he was stopped by Clint.

"Remember your tablets, Bruce has them in the infirmary. You gotta ask him and he'll get 'em for you."

"Yeah thanks, I'll get them later," he lied trying to get out of the room as quick as possible.