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Chapter 7

*Listen to Happier by Marshmello/Bastille while reading this chapter*

I wake up and look around my room. The space next to me is empty and I frown. Jonghyun must have gone home during the night. I sit up in my bed. I must have been sleeping really good to not have felt him move around. I get out of my bed and walk over to my dresser. I grab out some clothes for today and head into my bathroom.

I turn on the warm water and step into the shower. I stand under the water and let the warmth engulf me. I sigh happily before getting out of the shower. I dry myself off and get dressed. I braid my hair and brush my teeth.

When I come out of my bathroom I happen to glance at my bed. There is a piece of paper laying on it that I didn't notice before. I walk over to be bed and pick the piece of paper up. It's in Jonghyun's handwriting.

Tabby,
Take care of yourself. I love you.
I will always love you.
                                 Jonghyun

I read it a few times and wonder why he wrote me this. I frown slightly. I will have to ask him about it later. I stick the note in my pocket and head out of my room. I start down the hallway and my phone suddenly goes off. I look at it and see that it's SM. I stop walking and look at my phone. It must be important if they are calling me. I answer the call and hold the phone up to my ear.

"Hello?"

"Hello this is SM Entertainment. We have learned some very sad news this morning. Our company is mourning the loss of Kim Jonghyun....."

I did not hear the rest of what it was saying because my hand went limp and fell to my side.

"They can't be serious." I say to myself. I start running as fast as I can to our practice room. I burst into the room and find that no one is in here. I race back into the hall and head to the companies CEO, Han SeMin's, office.

I get to his office quickly and I burst into it. I stop at the doorway when I see the rest of my group members sitting in front of his desk. They all turn to look at me and they all look really upset. Taemin and Minho stand up when I look at them.

"This can't be true." I say. They frown at me.

"He's not gone!" I say loudly. My heart starts racing and I turn around about to run away again. Arms quickly wrap themselves around me and I look up to see Taemin. He is crying.

"Tabby, he's gone." He tells me. My legs give out from under me and I instantly start crying.

"No!" I loudly say. Taemin wraps his arms around me harder and I grip onto him for support. I will never see my best friend again? How did this happen? I just saw him. Thousands of thoughts were racing through my head. My best friend can't be gone.

I cry in Taemin's arms for a couple minutes before I get some strength back to stand up. I go up to SeMin's desk and I look at him.

"What happened?" I ask him. He doesn't answer me, but glances at the boys behind me. I hit the top of his desk hard with my hand. He jumps.

"How did it happen!?" I yell.

"He uh.." SeMin starts to say.

"It was suicide, Tabby." Key says behind me. I stop breathing and I lean against the desk.

"What?" I ask softly. How did I not see that he was struggling?

"I could have stopped him." I say and look at the boys. Key shakes his head.

"You were his closest friend. If he didn't tell you he wouldn't have told us." He says.

"But I'm his best friend!" I say loudly and my voice cracks. Fresh tears start rolling down my face. My best friend is gone.

"Oh god." I whisper and turn back to SeMin.

"I want to see him." I tell him. SeMin raises his eyebrow.

"See him?" He asks.

"Take me to him." I say.

"You don't want to do that.." He says, but I cut him off.

"Take me to him!"

"We will go with her." Minho pipes in.

"Fine.. I will have a car waiting for you out front." SeMin tells us. I turn around and walk to the door. The boys hurry and get up to catch up with me. Taemin walks next to me and looks down at me.

"You sure you want to do this?" He asks me. I nod and continue to look ahead.

"Yes." I reply. I have to see Jonghyun. I NEED to see him.

"She will probably regret this later." I hear OneW say.

"Let her make her own decisions." Key replies.

We walk out the front doors of SM and there is a car waiting for us like SeMin said. Taemin opens the back door for me and I climb inside. The rest of the boys pile in with me and our driver starts driving. I look around at all of us and it just doesn't make sense that there are five of us now. I have to look away and I look out the window beside me. And outside is the city that Jonghyun and I just explored yesterday. I turn my head and just close my eyes.

Our car stops and the boys get out before me. Taemin offers me his hand and I take it while I get out. He holds my hand softly as we walk into the building. A man in a lab coat meets us at the door and leads us down a hallway. We pass a sign that says morgue and my heart drops all over again. At the end of the hall the man stops and turns to us.

"Here we are." He says. The boys turn to me.

"You don't have to do this." Minho tells me. I nod.

"I want to. I need to see him." I tell him. The boys move out of my way and the man opens the door. I walk past all the guys and go into the room. The first thing I see when I walk in is Jonghyun. I walk closer to him and instantly tears flood my eyes. So it is true. He is gone. I get right next to the table and softly grab his hand. My legs give and I end up on the floor still holding his hand.