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Chapter 12

*Listen to There's No Way by Lauv while reading this chapter*

The next day Minho and I are just laying in my bed. I have made myself comfortable by sitting on top of him. My legs are on either side of him and I'm only wearing my bra and underwear. I have some papers in one hand and a pen in another. I'm trying to work on my song, while Minho observes me and looks on his phone. I ask him questions about the song every once in awhile.

I like having Minho with me like this. We are both very comfortable with each other and being next to each other is calming. He has made my mind clearer and the lyrics for my song is coming smoothly.

Minho grabs my waist and I am suddenly on my back with him hovering over me. He is lightly biting his lip and I smirk, knowing what he has in mind. He leans his head down and his lips touch mine very softly. I start to wrap my arms around his neck, but Minho lifts his head and moves off of me.

He sits on the edge of the bed with his back to me. He places his face into his hands and I hear him sigh. I watch him and I frown.

"How are we doing this right now?" He asks. I reach out and lightly grab his arm.

"Minho, Jonghyun wouldn't want us to stop our lives. He would want us to be happy." I tell Minho. He turns his head and looks at me.

"You're so strong and I find that so attractive. I think that's one of the reasons why I like you." He says. I smile softly. I start pulling him towards me. Minho lightly lays on top of me and places his face into my neck. I rub his back. He kisses my neck.

"I love you, Minho." I whisper. He wraps his arms around me and pulls me tighter to him. He sighs softly.

"I love you too, Tabby." He replies. Minho lifts his head and we look at each other. I smile. I kiss him and I feel him smile against my lips.

"I need to take a shower." I tell him after we pull away from each other.

"No. Can't we just stay here all day?" Minho whines. I get out of my bed and turn to look at him.

"I actually have a favor to ask." I say.

"What is it?" He asks me.

"Could you take me to Jonghyun's?" I ask softly. Minho looks at me for a few seconds before nodding.

"Of course." He says. I smile before going into my bathroom to take a shower.

I walk back out into my room wrapped in a towel. I grab some clothes out and put them on. Minho is sitting on my bed already dressed. He is watching me.

"Why do you want to go?" He asks me softly. I look over at him.

"I miss him." My voice cracks at the end. Minho frowns and gets up from my bed. He gets to me quickly and wraps me in his arms.

"I bet you miss him more than I could ever realize." He says softly. I nod slightly.

"He was always with me." I reply, trying my best not to cry.

"I don't want to replace him, but I want to be that for you. Your best friend. The person you can tell everything to." Minho tells me. I hug him tighter. This is something I needed to hear right now. I need someone who I can rely on like Jonghyun.

"Thank you." I reply. Minho kisses the top of my head.

"Let's get going." He says. We let each other go and he grabs my hand. He never lets go of my hand the whole walk to Jonghyun's apartment.

We are standing outside of his door and I look at it. This feels weird and not real. He will never live here again. I take the key that Jonghyun had given me and I unlock his door. I slowly open his door and step inside. As soon as I step inside a heaviness comes over me. It's like he never left. All of his things have not been touched. I look around and start to feel overwhelmed.

"Minho, I don't know if I can do this." I say. Minho comes to stand next to me and he takes my hand.

"It's okay. I'm here." He reassures me. I lead him through the apartment and into Jonghyun's bedroom. There were many nights where I would spend the night and we watched movies. I let go of Minho's hand and go over to the closet. As soon as I open the door to the closet I can smell Jonghyun and I close my eyes.

This smell will always be my favorite and the most calming for me. I open my eyes and take a few of his favorite shirts out of his closet. I hug them to me and place my face into them. I close my eyes again as I breath in his smell. I miss him so much. I wish he could be next to me again like old times.

I walk over to his bed and spot a medium sized box sitting there. I sit down and pull the box to me. I open the top and look inside. There is a folded up piece of paper laying on top and I pull it out. It is addressed to me. I open it up.

Tabby,
You make me proud everyday and I know you will make me proud in the future. I may not be by your side to watch you, but I know I will always be watching over you. I'm really sorry that you are going to be waking up to the news and it kills me inside to make you feel this way. I do not want you to dwell on this or be sad for to long. I want you to be happy and find love. I hope Minho gets his shit together and loves you too.
I'm sorry for all of this. We will always be connected forever no matter what. I love you forever my best friend. Please take care of yourself and make me proud.
                                               Jonghyun

Tears are silently rolling down my face as I read his letter to me. He must have figured I would be coming at some point. I set the letter down next to me and look inside the box. I pull out everything inside and look at it. It is all pictures of Jonghyun and I together through the years. The tears start coming more as I look through all the pictures. I look up at Minho through my tears.

"Why did he leave me? I miss him so much." I say softly as my voice cracks. Minho frowns.

"I'm so sorry. Do you want to go?" He asks me. I nod my head. I put all the pictures back in the box along with his letter. I grab the box and shirts and leave Jonghyun's apartment with Minho.