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Chapter 8

*Listen to Under My Skin by Taemin while reading this chapter*

The boys had to drag me away from Jonghyun. I didn't want to leave him. I think I yelled as they pulled me away from him. My best friend laid there on that table and I couldn't do anything. I just cried until it was hard for me to breath. This has to be a dream.. Why is all of this happening?

The boys and I went back to SM and I headed into my apartment. I lay on my bed and just stare at the ceiling. I don't know what to think or feel anymore, I'm just numb. I look at the space beside me in the bed. Jonghyun was just there and now he will never be next to me again.

I'm not sure how long I layed like this, but it seemd like an eternity. I finally sit up. It's late and I can't sleep with all this on my mind. I grab my phone and my earbuds. I walk out of my room and start listening to Jonghyun's songs. I need to hear his voice right now.

I sit down against a wall and close my eyes as I listen to Jonghyun's voice. I can feel myself calming down a little bit. This is one reason why he was my best friend because his voice was so calming for me.

I suddenly feel somebody sit down beside me and I open my eyes. I look over and see Minho next to me. He looks over at me and then looks at my phone. I take one earbud out and show him my phone. When he realizes who I'm listening to, he frowns.

"You doing alright?" He asks me. I shake my head.

"No." I reply. "You?" He looks over at me again and we lock eyes.

"Not so good." He says. We both sit here looking at each other. Minho lifts his hand up and gently places it on my cheek. I look at his hand then back at him. I shouldn't be feeling this way, but electricity is running through me from his touch. With his other hand he gently takes my other ear bud out.

Minho searches my face before slowly leaning forward. I close my eyes as his lips softly touch mine. Why is this just now happening after I've wanted this for so long. I can taste a hint of alcohol on his breath and now I get why this is happening. But I don't want it to stop. In this moment I really want this and it could be because I'm not in my right mind. I want this.

I place my hand on the back of his neck and pull him closer to me. His other hand finds my other cheek and we start kissing more deeply. Minho stops kissing me and brings his lips to my neck. This has me moaning and I open my eyes. We can't be doing this out here. I grab both of his hands.

"Minho." I say softly and slowly stand up with him following me. Still holding his hands I lead him down the hall and into my room. When the door closes behind us I look at Minho. This moment is when I will make my decision about if I really want this. My feet make the decison for me as I walk up to Minho. He gently grabs my face and we start kissing again. He picks me up and starts walking me to my bed. As Minho sets me down he places his lips on my neck again.

Our bodies are so close together and soon after we are skin to skin, forgetting the world around us.

*Next Morning*

I wake up to the bed being empty, so Minho must have left during the night. I sigh as I sit up. I already dread this day. Today me and the guys are going to talk about our futures. This honestly scares me. This group means the world to me and I don't want to lose them.

I get out of bed and go into my bathroom to take a shower. I let the water fall on me. The numbing feeling is coming back. Jonghyun is gone. I shut the water off and I step out. I dry myself off and put my clothes on. I walk out of my room and out the door of my apartment. I get into the hall and look around. This whole place has a whole different feel to it. I frown as I continue my way to our practice room.

I stop in front of the practice room door and look inside the small window. All the boys are here already, sitting in a circle on the floor. I frown even more as I look at them. We are not five members.

I open the door and walk inside. All the boys look at me. I look at Minho and he looks away from me. Great we made this awkward. How nice. I walk up to their circle and I join them on the floor. We all just exchange looks then we all look at Key. He's like our second leader. He looks at all of us.

"We have a hard decision to make." He tells us.

"Are we even Shinee anymore?" Taemin asks. I look at all the guys around me and I know we have all asked ourselves this question.

"Are we going to be able to go on without Jonghyun?" Minho asks. Everyone is quiet and I can't stand it. I don't want our group to be thrown away like this. We are stronger than this.

"Yes we have to." I speak up. All the guys look over at me.

"How can we?" Onew asks.

"We have to be strong and make Jonghyun proud. He wouldn't want us to stop any of this." I tell them all. I catch Minho looking at me. He bites his lip softly before looking away.

"You're right." Key says. I smile softly.

"I think we should start by writing him a song." I say. The boys begin nodding and smiling softly. The baby of the group just had to take charge of this group and I start smiling more. Jonghyun would be proud of me for this. I will not let Shinee die away. This group is going to live on forever.