View

Chapter 10

*Listen to View by Shinee while reading this chapter*

After the memorial I didn't talk to Minho. I didn't want to. I didn't even want to see his face. I avoided him as much as possible. Taemin has been sticking by my side and I really need that right now. He feels the same way about what Minho said to me. He should never had said that to me. None of this is anybodys fault.

What Minho said to me has stuck with me though. I could have stopped all of this if I would have known what Jonghyun was going through. I could have helped him. I wish I would have paid more attention to my best friend.

I'm sitting at my small kitchen table with a paper in front of me. I'm trying to write my own song for Jonghyun. I want to sing it at our next show for him. I believe our next show will be a tribute for him and it may be the hardest show we have ever done. There is a knock at my apartment door and I look over at it.

"Come in." I call out. The door opens and in walks Taemin. He smiles at me and looks at the paper in front of me.

"How is the song going?" He asks me. I smile softly at him.

"It's going." I say and sigh. He chuckles and takes the paper.

"Let me see what you have." He says and reads it. "Would you like some help with it?"

"You would help me?" I ask him. He smiles even more.

"Of course. Let me take it with me and I will see what I can add." He tells me. I smile.

"Thank you, Taemin." He leans down and kisses the top of my head.

"We have practice." He tells me. I nod slightly.

"I know. I will be there." I say. Taemin nods.

"Don't worry about Minho." He says and walks back over to my door. "I will see you later."

When Taemin leaves my apartment, I stand up from the table and go into my bedroom to change. I change into shorts and a t-shirt to wear for practice.

I walk out of my apartment and into the hallway. Practice will be good for us right now, but I don't know if I can be around Minho. I have to do this for Jonghyun. I walk up to our practice room and open the door. The four guys are already here and look at me when I walk inside. I softly smile at them all. The boys smile except for Minho, who is avoiding looking at me. Key comes into the center of the room.

"We ready for this?" He asks. I nod as I join him in the middle of the room. The other boys join us and Key turns on the music. We are now five and we have to carefully move around and dance as five now. It's definitely going to take some time getting used to all this.

After practicing a few songs, Key stops the music and lets us leave for the day. I'm about to leave the practice room when Minho comes walking back in. He looks right at me when he walks in. I back up slightly.

"What do you want?" I ask him. Minho comes closer to me.

"I want to talk to you." He says.

"About what?"

"What I said at the memorial." He says and I look up at him when he gets closer to me.

"I don't think there is anything to talk about." I reply. Minho sighs and frowns slightly.

"I want to apologize to you. I should never had said what I did. I'm under as much stress as everybody else. Jonghyun was important to me too."  Minho explains. I frown too.

"Of course you are, but why would you ever say it was my fault? He was my best friend for God's sake. I never wanted something like this to happen to him." I reply as fresh tears start rolling down my face.

"I'm sorry, Tabby. I know this is hard for you." He says.

"Do you really know?!" I ask loudly. "This is killing me inside!"

My legs start to get weak and I tell myself to not fall in front of him. Minho comes closer to me and my back is soon against the wall. Minho places one hand on the wall next to my head and the other he reaches up and starts wiping my tears away softly. He's being so gentle right now. I look up at him. Why is he being like this?

"What are you doing?" I ask him softly.

"I'm really sorry. I know how important he was to you. I want us to be closer." He says the last part and I raise my eye brow at him.

"You want us to be close? Now?" I ask him. He sighs softly.

"I always have. I've been attracted to you, but didn't know what to do." He says. I blink at his words.

"You have?" I ask softly. Minho brings his face closer to mine and my heart starts beating faster. Our lips almost touch when the practice room door opens.

"What is going on?" We both turn our heads to see Taemin at the door, looking upset. Minho is about to step away from me when I grab his arm to make him stop. He needs to own up to his feelings.

"Were you going to take advantage of her?" Taemin asks angrily.

"Taemin.." I try to say that he wasn't, but he cuts me off.

"You've been nothing but an asshole to her." Taemin says and starts walking up to Minho. Minho takes my hand from his arm and meets Taemin in the middle. Taemin raises his fist and punches Minho in the face. I gasp as the boys start throwing their fists at each other. I move quickly and try to get in between the two of them.

"Stop!" I say loudly. Nothing happens and they still keep going. My cheeks are wet and I notice that I'm crying again.

"Please stop!" I try saying louder, but my voice cracks. The practice room door opens again and Key rushes in.

"Both of you get a hold of yourselves!!" Key yells. I step back quickly as he comes between the guys. Key stops them from fighting and pushes them away from each other. Taemin and Minho are glaring at each other with cuts and brusies all over their faces.

"Go home! All of you." Key points to all of us and then to the door. I look over at Minho and he's already looking at me. I start to frown when I see his face. He looks away from me and follows the others out the door. I watch them leave.

Why do I feel like everything is falling apart?