Chapter Six - Not Alone

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"The Survey Corps is one of the hardest sections of the military to join. We suffer mentally and physically more than the other two sections. I knew this when I was chosen to be part of the Survey Corps. Heichou Levi was the one who took me in under the suggestion of Officer Pyxis who is an elite Garrison Guard. That man, took me away to training at the age of ten. He took me away from my friends that had become my family after the fall of Wall Maria. And though many look at me now and see a strong fighter; I wasn't always one." I sighed, unbuttoning the top buttons to Levi's shirt. I haven't shared my story with many people, but Erwin pleaded with me to this year. The near destruction of the Trost district has shattered the hopes of many of the scouts. We need something to run off of to gain recruits; the Survey Corps already lacking in numbers. "I lived on the exterior of Wall Maria, right by the ocean. We had a little house there that my father had built, but as fate would have it, a titan destroyed our happiness. I was just a little kid. Just like the rest of you were. But you were lucky. My training years in the military was hell. I was thrown into the adult world too early and unlike what you had gone through, I was abused when I couldn't make the cut. When I was slower than the others, I was beaten. When I refused an order, I was whipped. When my fighting wasn't good enough, my head was shoved into a bucket of water until I nearly drowned. I was the only one who recieved this treatment. All because they knew that the Azure Flame was hidden inside of me." My eyes flickered to Armin and Mikasa who were listening intently just as the rest of the scouts. Even they have never heard this story, even Eren has not heard it. "This training did make me stronger. I was able to awaken my abilities. I was able to fight through what scared me most and come out the other side as one of the humanities best soldiers; or so I'm told." I smiled slightly remembering what Pyxis had said to me years ago. "I was relieved from my training early, handed off to the care of Commander Erwin and Corporal Levi. I hated it there at first. I ran away a lot, disobeyed orders, I made Corporal Levi quite livid with me for awhile. However, the longer I spent with the Survey Corps. The more I realized that they are the kinds of people who will be your comrades for life. Everyone who has risked their life, everyone who has died in our Legion, we will remember their names forever. We are a family and we stick together no matter what happens. The Military police are cowards who hide within wall Sina for protection. They know nothing about the fear felt when stepping beyond the walls. The Guarrison are no better. They all sit around and drink, take advantage of their jobs. So today, I am going to ask those of you who want to join another legion to leave now. We need soldiers, people who are willing to make a difference in this world. Not those who are ready to let others take control of their lives." I stopped talking then, closing my eyes as I heard the scouts begin to leave. I knew my words wouldn't convince them. Why did I even try? "You did well." Erwin told me quietly, now standing at my side. "I didn't do enough to convince them to stay." I replied, opening my eyes and seeing who had stayed. "No, but it will be your story that they carry with them for the rest of their short lives." I nodded slightly, looking at the meek twelve recruits that had stayed. I noted most of them are those I had worked closely with: Connie, Jean, Sasha, Armin, Mikasa. . . "I welcome you all to the Survey Corps! This is a true salute. Offer up your hearts!" Erwin said, the both of us saluting our new comers. "Hai!" They all cried, saluting us back. Many of them looked terrified and I hope that one day, they can look back on this decision and be proud of what they chose. I don't want any of them, to ever regret coming into our legion.

I awoke with panic, my heart beating against my chest heavily. That dream. . . Again? Why does it come to haunt me again? "Move over." A voice said from the darkness, making me jump. "Azure." I relaxed, realizing who that deep voice belonged to. I scooched over in bed, Levi getting in and lying himself down. I stayed seated, leaning against my knees for support. We are forced to share a bed, since we did not have enough beds for the new recruits, us older members were forced to buddy up. Eren still sleeps down in the basement and Erwin told me earlier that Levi insisted that we share a room. He must have just gotten back from his patrol actually, all seems to have gone okay, since he hasn't said anything. "Lay down idiot. I won't be able to sleep otherwise." Levi's usual harsh voice commaded. "I have to go back. I'll be leaving tomorrow morning." I said to him, fiddling my fingers to keep myself busy. "Go where Azure? There is no where to go." He replied, sitting himself up and looking down at me. "I have to go there. I need to go back there before we go out on our expidition." I replied, looking at him. "Why now?" "I don't know." We were silent for a moment, our to the point conversation over. Some things about us never change. . . "It is too far for you to venture. It isn't like the time you and your family came to us." Levi told me, feeling around in the dark before he found my hand. "I know it isn't. But I have to try. I need to say goodbye. Otherwise, this pained feeling in my chest won't ever go away." "Tch. I guess I have no choice but to go with you." Levi told me, squeezing my hand slightly before lying back down. I did the same and turned to face him, giving him a frown. "You can't come. They need you here." I said. "Yes, but if I let you go alone, you won't come back." "I know." I replied, turning to look up at the celing. I hate how much he can see into me. It's as if he always knows what I am feeling. . .

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