A Profound Catharsis

Euphoria

Darkness.

I saw nothing but darkness.

Pitch black surroundings turning happiness into madness.

I'm out of breath.

I'm tired of running.

Hiding, suffocating, dying.

Killing myself for nothing, 

Knowing others have everything.

Slowly... very slowly.

I closed my eyes.

Turned my heart with the warmest touch

To a cold hard ice.

Silence.

I couldn't hear anything but silence.

Even the most timid beat of my heart

Which was once a work of art

Music to the ears before it turned dark.

And then I heard it

A soft voice calling my name

I heard it  from a dream

Wait, was it really a dream?

I opened my eyes

And there you are

A light that shines the dark

I saw your smile that never fades away.

I saw your eyes looking intently into mine.

Oh, it's almost divine!

And finally I can say, "You really made my day!"

I started to move

Live my life as I should.

You always remind me of who I can be 

Though in a screen is only where we should see.

I trusted that you'll stay

And we'll never go astray

From the moment I saw you

'Til our hair turns to gray.

But they say that promises are made to be broken 

Broken Knight you were once I dared to be taken

You made me happy with our shared insights

I told you what a flatterer you are at some heights!

Suddenly, you got mad at me

You told me how  entitled  I'd be 

For becoming attached to your voice

You said I left you with no choice

Or else we'll reach the point of no return

Consequently, we  will both burn.

I bid my farewell to  a good friend of mine

But I'll never forget that once in a lifetime

I met a person who showed me the light

My heart may be crying deep inside

But I can't deny the fact

That once in my only life

I found the euphoria I once lacked.

(This is so far the longest free style poem I have ever written. I wrote this a sample for my Grade 9 students at PISQ (S.Y. 2018-2019) for a proposed performance task for the second quarter, which didn't happen since Chamber Theater got the most number of votes in the poll. I was just able to show this to my selected students from 9-Strength. 

 People who heard this thought of the theme as love lost and found again. You may interpret this however you like (feel free to do so), but for me (poet's purpose), this poem is about how you lose and find and lose yourself again in the process of growing up. I believe everyone had an experience about being depressed because we feel like we're worthless, that nobody cared about us, not realizing that we can find the love and happiness in our own selves, and when the time comes that we lose ourselves again, it won't be too hurtful anymore because this time, we are mature enough to take the challenge and move on.) 

 August 2018- Exam Day (I forgot exactly when) at Room 210

I recorded this as an audio file. Check I out.

https://youtu.be/Rgp-F-spkyE

Xoxo,
Happy Jean