I'm In Love But Homeless? =P

Reality

Jake's POV

Well I've been home for a week and everything has been great.  I told my parents to not go telling everyone I'm home, I didn't want company.  I know everyone's intentions are good but, I just want to be alone right now.  I know it's weird.

Tomorrow I go back to school.  I was supposed to go yesterday but I didn't feel like it.  I have to go to school in a wheelchair because I can't walk long distances and I walk too slow to keep up with my fast walking peers.  I have been going to physical therapy since, I've been home and I must say I've been doing pretty good too. 

I am not looking forward to going to school because I really don't know how to act anymore.  I have not figured it out yet, should I return to old Jake or I continue to be new Jake? I mean I feel like new Jake is who I am but ... I dunno I just can't explain it.  Maybe because I forgot how to be old Jake, how do I go back to being me? 

It feels like this is so complicated when in reality it's not. Just choose a side Jake, ugh...I always beat up on myself because I take to long to make decisions.  My thoughts were interrupted to my phone ringing.  That ringtone sounds way too familiar.  I never changed his ringtone.  It is Dayquan.  That man keeps calling me.  I just don't want to talk to him.  I know, sounds harsh. I know he's worried about me but I don't care.

Once, my phone stopped ringing, I rolled out of bed. I have to be dressed in 20 mins to go to physical therapy. They are going to teach me how to use my wheelchair or at least in a way that I can manage properly in school. I am sooooo nervous because I'm just now learning how to use a wheelchair the day before school. I think I have mad anxiety about what people are going to think. I know I know ! Jake caring about what people think ? I know I know. I just can't seem to shake this feeling.

In a matter of no time, I'm carefully making my way downstairs. I can't afford to fall this time, Im going to have the whole house panicking. We don't want to re-live that right?

I opened the front door and my Dad is waiting in the car. I gently sat in the passengers seat.

Dad: " ready to go kiddo"

Jake: "yea"

Dad: " hey hey hey, cheer up son! You got this!"

Jake: "yea I'm cool"

My dad knew me so well... I was honestly trying to make things seem like they were Gucci, ya know ! The ride was smooth sailings. I'm entering the therapy place and I am being greeted by a warm smile from the receptionist.

Receptionist: "Hello! You must be Jake"

Jake: " uh. Yea. I mean . How di...."

Receptionist: " your our youngest here"

Jake: "um ok"

Receptionist: "here you go and I'm going to assist you to your destination"

She rolls out a wheelchair from a storage room behind her and asks me to sit in it. I followed her instructions. For some reason when I was In the hospital, therapy felt like an outlet to me, somewhere I can go and feel like I was having some leisure time. Now that I'm home, when I go to therapy it makes me feel like I'm sick or something, if that makes sense.

The most interesting thing just happened. I found out that my instructor is a male that is also in a wheelchair. He taught me how to back up, stop, turn from left and right smoothly without moving super slow. It was like he had a bunch of life hacks for people in wheelchairs. He's a really cool guy. His name is Maxwell, but, Max for short.

Max: " you think you got it Jake?"

Jake: " I hope so! You know how when you first learn something and you do it awesome when your by yourself? Then, the moment that your in front of other people it's like not the same, you mess everything up ? You know what I'm talking about?"