Would've given you the moon

Chapter 19

Don't be the good woman
He crawls back to when he's
Don't fucking around.

"Am I?" I ask.

"Yes, yes you are"

Something about it didn't feel genuine. It felt unsure. It felt like he himself didn't know the answer and just said it because he didn't want to ruin anything. I shrugged it off though, even if i he just said it without meaning. I probably should.nt have done that but i'm So head over heels for him that I dont want us to end. I don't want to get in an argument, I don't want him to let me go, I don't want to learn how to live without him, I want to be happy and this will probably be the last time I will ever be this happy.

||

"So you have a feeling?" Jimin asks.

We met up for our lunch break. Jimin wanted to talk to me and to see how I was doing.

"Yeah..I do" I answer, kicking the pebbles that were on the ground as we walked.

"Why?"

"I just do..I have a feeling he'll end things the day before his birthday for some reason. Just this feeling, my gut feeling"

"It's good to trust your gut feelings, But if he doesn't?"

"Then..it's good isn't it?"

Jimin hesitates, "can you handle it? Are you okay with being on and off with him?"

"I mean..-"

"Are you happy?" Jimin stops walking and looks over at me. His tone is serious and stern.

A small smile apprears on my face, "define happy"

"Are you content with who and how you are. Are you content with breaking down here and there? Are you content with feeling unsure. Everything. Are you happy?"

I look down at my shoes, "I don't know Jimin..I don't know. I feel happy.."

"Are you sure about that love?"

"I don't know. I dont know if i'm Just lying to myself becuase I don't want to let him go. I don't really know if i'm Happy or not. I don't know how it's supposed to feel like anymore. I can't tell the difference anymore. I'm in too deep"

"I wish I could help you instead of giving you advice. It's been almost 6 months already
y/n..back and fourth. Yet you're willing to stay until he walks away. Until he finally breaks you. Is it worth it?" He's staring into my eyes and I swear it's as if he see's my soul.

"I prepared myself. I prepared myself not to cry, I can't get hurt when he leaves because I saw it coming. I know what i'm Getting myself into.."

"Y/n..." he softly says. He sounds sad and heartbroken.

"Hm?" I force a small smile.

"I don't like seeing you like this. I hate it..can't you leave him first?" His eyes look hopeful, he wants me to leave him first.

"Jimin.."

after I said his name, he knew I couldn't leave Jungkook.

He looks a bit disappointed and walks ahead of me. He didn't even wait for me. He seemed a bit mad but didn't want to tell me straight up.

I catch up to him, "Jimin, are you mad?"

"Yeah, yeah i'm Mad" he doesn't even look at me and keeps walking. I stop walking as he walks ahead.