The Depressed Life (Book of Poems, Quotes, and Rants)

Part 208- Slam Poem by AudreyPolaris}

{208-Fate Stands Before Me by AudreyPolaris}

I glance cautiously in a mirror and what stares back is disgusting.

I turn my head away quick

a sick feeling digging a pit in my stomach

I don't like what I see, not one bit.

The knife buried in my drawer calls my name

even louder than before

tempting me, and I dare to listen,

doubts creeping up from the crevices of my mind.

My broken ego leads me across the room

and before I knew it

shaking fingers wrap around the cold unforgiving metal lifting the blade

slowly

mechanically

to the tender skin on my throat.

What if

I never had to see

that horrible reflection again?

What if no one had to lay eyes on this?

The knife pressed closer,

pinching and stinging

and I swallow nervously.

Every heart beat is slow and careful and significant

this is my duty, this is something I must do.

Fate stands before me, staring me down

eyebrows raised skeptically.

It makes eye contact as if to say, "Are you sure?"

My fists clench tight.

I remember the monster I saw in the mirror

but the knife slips between my fingers

and tumbles to the floor with a soft

meaningless

pathetic

thump.

I

just

can't

do

this.