My Guiding Light

Chapter 6

Season: 4

Episode(s): Are you there, God? It's me, Dean Winchester

Setting(s): Mia's House - Madison, Wisconsin. / Bobby's House - Sioux Falls, South Dakota

***

As predicted, Dean has to pull me out of my house. I can see his questionable and confused glances as he looks at the pile of ash that was once a demon, the girl with the snapped neck and the complete absence of a vehicle let alone the one that I was using to get here. As soon as the front door clicks shut I realise where I am, I regain functionality of my body. "Dean we can't just leave her here." I find myself saying as I pull my wrist back. He looks at me with what looks like pity. I'd usually go off at him for that but I have too much self pity to care right now.

"Mia, hunters are being murdered right now. Last time I checked you were one so I'm taking priority in your life at the moment." He says as gently as those words could come. He keeps trying to guide me to my twin who is waiting by the car. Now knowing he's here, I'm wondering why he wasn't the one that came up for me. "And she was my girlfriend, Dean. We're giving her a proper burial, even if you don't like it." I say back, my hands shaking. I feel like I'm going to throw up. Dean just nods and kisses my forehead, sending me down gently to Sam as he goes back in for Katie.

I find myself hugging Sam tightly when I reach him, I refuse to cry again but my breathing is most definitely not even. Sam realises this too apparent as his gigantic figure embraces mine protectively, smoothing my back the way I have done with sick children in the hospital many many times and more importantly, what he has always done to me when we were kids. I knew by the way Sam had most of his weight favoured to one side rather than an even stance that he wanted to ask me what happened but honestly, I'm thankful that he let me just hold him in peace.

—

After an eternity of grief sleep, I find myself on the couch at Bobby's with what appears to be a salt circle around me. As much as I want to wallow more in self pity, I don't have much opportunity to but rather the need to jump into action as a hunter.

The place was eerily quiet except for Dean's silent footsteps from upstairs and then a sudden slam of a door. Something was up and I had no weapons. "God dammit, Dean!" I grumble and -stupidly- step out of the circle to find a shotgun.

I find a shotgun quickly, perched simply on Bobby's desk but much like any cliche action that could ever occur I'm pulled back and slammed against a wall before I can touch it.

"You're gonna have to do better than that, sweetheart." I way too familiar voice coos, cold hands brushing against my face as I try to pull away. "No, no you're- you-"

"Died? Yeah I know. As you watched. You could have stopped it, I know you could. But no. You just let the love of your life have her neck snapped!" The ghost yells, pushing me harder against the wall I'm certain I feel a bone start to crack. All I can do is shake my head, desperately trying to plea with the girl that has been dead less than a day when I stop struggling. Not because I've given up or want to die but because I was just given an answer to one of my many recent questions.

The demons killed her not out of randomness but for this very moment. They needed someone for me that I couldn't save, someone that would break me down so bad that the so called threat they think they see in me is gone. But I've got news for them, I'm a fucking Winchester.

I use my new found strength for something I never thought was even possible and frankly, still don't believe it. I grab the arms of the ghost as tightly as I can and it instantly goes up in smoke, releasing me from my position and allowing me to grab the shotgun and help my probably still dumbass brothers.

I run upstairs to help Dean when I see him laying on the floor next to a now broken iron chandelier. "So it's not just me. Good to know." I say as I help him up. He groans and I roll my eyes. "You've had worse. Suck it up." I say as I poke his side to which he jerks away from. "Hey! You're supposed to be a doctor. Doctors don't tell people to suck it up." He grumbles to which I shrug. "They do if it's superficial." Is all I reply as I help him downstairs where Sam and bobby are now walking through to door. We all share a knowing look which basically translates to 'there's shit going on, we need to talk'.