My Guiding Light

Chapter 18

Season: 4

Episode(s): Yellow Fever

Setting(s): Rock Ridge, Colorado

***

Sam forced me to stay in the motel while they went back to the police station. I hated when he did that. When he played big brother even though he was only fifteen minutes older than me. Which did technically make him a day older because I was born after midnight on May 2nd, making it May 3rd. Buutttt Sam And I haven't gone into the technicalities since we were kids so surely he wasn't playing that card. No matter what card he was playing, the isolation was driving me insane. I was seeing things, hearing things. And the need to scratch my arms got so bad at one point I think i used a knife. But right now I'm just curled in a ball in the corner of a room - I can't remember what room - and just waiting for Sam to say he's back.

—

I hear the door open to the motel room, it opened once before to reveal Dean so I'm assuming that means Sam is now back.

"I looked everywhere for you Dean!" I hear him go off but I was too busy focusing on the manifestation of my girlfriend right in front of me. I shake my head and press myself further into the corner. "You're not real, you can't be real." I mutter, tears flowing down my cheeks now but I can't help it.

"Where the hell is Mia." I hear Sam says and I take the opportunity to scream out for him. He comes running and pulls me up to my feet, pulling me in for a hug. Too vulnerable to question, I hug back before he pulls away to look down at me with pure hatred. "Dad shouldn't have rescued you from the nursery as a baby." He says and I gasp. "What?" I'm hyperventilating again, trying the pull away from him but he won't let me. He's grabbing hold of my arms which, now feeling the pain I scream. I most definitely used a knife at some point.

"You're going to die soon anyway so I guess it doesn't matter. You'll go to hell just like dean and I'll finally be free. You've been holding me back."

I shake my head. "Don't say that, Sam."

He slaps me and I whimper, looking away, still trying to pull my arms back from his grasp. "You're a monster." I hear another voice say. It was Dean. He was approaching me with the demon knife.

"Dean, please, no. No, no, no." I'm begging him, trying to still break free of Sam. "And I hate monsters. All monsters should die, whether they're my sister or not." He then rams the blade into my stomach and everything goes black

—

I wake up to me laying on the lounge, not stabbed, dean sitting next to me on the single chair watching some cartoon which seems way to vivid to be real so I don't even bother looking at it.

"Oh hey kid, you're awake." Dean comments when he turns the TV off. I shake my head and roll off the couch, shuffling away. "You killed me. I'm dead. This is hell." I'm crying now...again... I can feel the hot liquid flowing down my cheeks. Dean stops following me when he gets a call. Thankfully. It gives me enough time to lock myself in the bathroom so I'm safe from dean at least.

There is extremely loud banging somewhere outside the bathroom. I can't tell what it is but the noises are scaring me...big time.

"Why don't you go out there?" I hear my girlfriend say. "You know it's probably just Sam and Dean, getting ready to kill you. Let them have it. Let them kill you for being a freak." I shake my head, pressing my hands firmly against my ears to try and block her voice but she's in my head so it does literally nothing. "Or you could do it. Don't give them the satisfaction of being the one to kill you. It's your life, you should be able to choose when and how you go...right?" She continues, somehow slipping a knife into my hand. I'm shaking now. As if I'm out in the snow in nothing but a bikini.

—

I don't remember what I did. If I killed myself, if I killed dean... but now I'm waking up in Sam's arms as he's carrying me out to the Impala, my arms bandaged and a now stolen hotel blanket draped around my shoulders.
"You still have a lot of explaining to do so don't think this case gets you off the hook." Is all he tells me as he drives off to meet bobby honestly who knows where.

I lean against the side of the car in between Sam and Dean, my head leaning on Sam's shoulder as I drink my beer.

"So you road hauled a ghost with a chain?" Deans asks, appropriately skeptical

"An iron chain." Sam defends the stupid idea. "Etched with spell work."

"Right. So you risked your twin's life on a magic chain?" I ask as I look up at him, earning a playful hit from dean at his lack of inclusion in the comment.

"It's what he was most afraid of. Scare to death and all that. It was pretty brutal though." He sighs and wraps his arm around my side.

"On the upside, were alive so, go team." Dean says, taking a swig of his beer.

"Yeah. How you feeling by the way?"

"Fine." Dean shrugs.

"You sure, Dean? 'Cause this line of work can get awful scary." Bobby says with a large smirk

"I'm fine. You want to go hunting? I'll hunt. I'll kill anything."

"Awwww, he's adorable. I got to get out of here. You boys drive safe."

"Hey." I frown as I look at him. "Right. You too Mia. Stay safe. The three of you." He says and with that he's off, leaving me with my brothers and the inevitability of their questions that will follow the silence.