My Guiding Light

Chapter 24

Season: 4

Episode(s): It's the Great Pumpkin, Sam Winchester

Setting(s): N/A

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I do NOT like being knocked out by an angel. I do NOT like the feeling of complete and utter exhaustion it for some reason gives me afterwards despite it not giving Bobby the same feeling back when we summoned the damn bird back forever ago. But what i hate even more... the look of worry i see on both my big brother's faces as i sit up and take a few deep breaths, allowing my skin to regain the colour that was drained when i blacked out for some reason.

"Im gonna kill 'em" I mutter crankily as I stand up, Sam quick to my side, much like he is every time i injure myself on a hunt.

"You can't and you know it. Now as worried as i am about you, the angels are going to destroy this whole town, us included probably, if we dont find this witch so weve gotta get going." Dean says matter of factly, pushing myself and Sam out the door.

He stops and tenses up suddenly, causing me to panic, thinking that the stupid angels or even the witch is here. But no, its the impala. Coated in a layer of broken eggs. "Astronaut!" he grumbles and i sigh, patting him on the back. "You were a bit of a dick."

After much more grumbles and curses about 'entitled fat kids', Dean finally enters the Impala so we can hunt down this stupid ass witch and then hopefully the stupid ass human birds im somehow related to.

"What." Dean snaps, still grumpy as he looks over at a solemn-looking Sam. His expression leaves me curiously staring at him. What happened while i was out of it that could leave him this upset? Did they bring up Jessica or something? The demon blood thing? Much like Winchester fashion, Sam just shakes his head dismissvely. "Nothing."

He looks down, and then back up, staring out the front windscreen and off into space. "I thought theyd be different." He says, sounding almost...heartbroken. Im about to roll my eyes at him when i realise that during my first couple days trapped in that run down hut, i was feeling the exact same things that he was feeling. Heartbreak, betrayal, hoplessness and abandonment. Sure i may have given up hope that i wouold be found in that place alive but it ran deeper than that... it was spiritual. So instead i play my role as the supporting twin sister and i listen, my right hand resting gently on his shoulder. If i wasnt in the back while he was in the front, it would be more.

"Who, the angels?" Dean asks, keeping his regular cocky persona as per usual.

"Yeah." Sam nods with a sigh.

"Well i tried to tell you."

"I just...I thought theyd be righteous."

"They are Sam, thats the problem." I say softly, my thumb rubbing circles into his shoulder where it rests.

"Of course theres nothing more dangerous than some A-hole who thinks hes on a holy mission." Dean only half jokingly pipes in. I shoot him a look which tells him that he in no way is helping this situation.

"But, i mean... this is God...and Heaven? This is what ive been praying to?" Sam's pain can be heard through his words and it hits me right in the chest. Ive been so caught up in my own hatred towards these things that i forgot the most important part; how my twin, who is just as religious as me, is holding out through all of this. I want to say something, to let him know that im here and that im sorry for being so selfish but in that moment i loose my ability to speak, to enveloped in the shared pain between us.

"Look man, i know youre into that whole God thing and Jesus on a tortilla and stuff like that... and i know that you were at one point too Mia, you almost ripped my head clean off for disrespecting it. Just because theres a couple bad apples doesnt mean the whole barrel is rotten." Dean says in a way that only dean can. If it came from anyone else i probably would be offended but from him... theres something about it. And i can tell by the fact that sam reaches up to hold my hand rather than it rest on his shoulder that he feels it too.