My Guiding Light

Chapter 8

Season: 4

Episode(s): Metamorphosis

Setting(s): Motel in Haleyville, Kansas / On road towards Carthage, Missouri

***
It's been a few weeks since my near death experience and although I'm still mega pissed they left me to that thing, I'm talking to them again. Which is relieving actually because it was just in time for a hunt. Anything to keep my mind off of my voo-doo hands.

Sitting on the motel bed, reading a book I hear Dean storm in. I already know there's gonna be a shit fight. Trying to get their attention before it strikes out I'm yelling out 'hey' to them but just like on the night of the shining, I'm ignored. I stop trying to stop them when I hear Dean mention Ruby.

"Wait, ruby? As in the demon ruby? Sam what's going on?" Still ignored. May as well put a gun in my mouth, they probably wouldn't notice.

Then dean swings a punch. And I actually have to duck to not get hit by the follow through. "What the fuck Dean!" I snap at him and go to throw a punch back to stop him when he hits Sam again. I again, go to stop him but he stops me, simply lecturing Sam on how 'not human' he is. Then I freeze. Is this the demon blood thing? Did it actually work on me? Am I not human too? I'm about to defend Sam, tell dean to take it easy, that we can work it out without breaking his nose when Dean shatters a motel lamp. "It's already gone too far, Sam." I hear dean say. I want to shut him up now. Before he says anything else that's downright stupid. But I physically can't force myself to speak. "If I didn't know you, I'd wanna hunt you."

My throat drops to my stomach at those words. If Sam was bad, that means I'm bad. Which means, without a doubt in my mind now, my brothers must never find out whatever is going on to me.

Before I can experience any more emotional trauma for one day, I slip out of the room to get in the back of the impala, waiting for an all clear or if I'm lucky, a lift to a local pub.

Unfortunately I never did get my own girl back. My mysterious teleporting -which still hasn't been discussed with the guys- had left her a shredded and exploded mess. Couldn't even recover any of my personal items. So that means, when Sam and Dean come out of the room together with their stuff I know I'm gonna be in for a long ride in the backseat.

—

"I can't believe it. Mom, a hunter?" Sam speaks up after Dean's story of angelic lesson 101: back in time.

"I wouldn't have believed it myself if I hadn't seen it. She could kick ass. She almost took me down." He confirms with a nod.

"How'd she look? Was she happy?" Sam continues and Dean looks at me through the review mirror.

"She looked a little bit like Mia actually. She was awesome. Funny, smart. Hopefully too... and so was dad until, you know." He says and the atmosphere in the car grows tense.

Sam breaks the tense silence with a sigh. "What?" Dean asks with a raised eyebrow. "It's just, our parents. And now we find out our grandparents too? Our whole family murdered and for what? So Yellow Eyes could get in our nursery and bleed in our mouths?" Sam says and I frown, still not liking that none of the boys told me about that.

"How long did you know about that by the way." Dean says to which Sam plays dumb. "What do you mean?"

"I mean you didn't look half as shocked as Mia did when I told her about what she's missed out on so... how long have you known about the demon blood, Sammy."

I could sense another fight coming but I knew there was no stopping them, especially when in the car. "About a year." Sam admits to which Dean ever so slightly tightens his grip on the wheel. "A whole year, huh?"

"I should have told you." Sam tries to defend in order to save themselves a fight.

"You've been saying that a lot lately." Dean points out. "But whatever. You don't have to tell me anything."

Sam tries to grab our big brother's attention but it's all for naught. He fully intended on using the silent treatment for the rest of the drive. And, because he isn't talking to Stupid Sam, he probably won't be talking to me either. Not that I mind, it gives me time to have my thoughts on how differently Dean would treat me if he found out I was like my twin.