Who Was My Mother?

Chapter 22

15 years and 4 months earlier.

Author's POV

"Okay. This letter is for Elliot Stabler. It was re-written by Olivia when you came back.

Dear El.

If you hear this, I'm gone, and you're probably broken. Don't be!

I had a letter written for you before you came back, but I re wrote it when you came back, and we became an item.

I love you El, always have always will.

You're like a father to Noah.

But.. Oh God it's ard writing this.

I bet you all thought I was gonna give Elliot Noah. But I can't El.

I know you loved me and you love Noah, but you left me El, after 12 years you left without a goodbye, and I can't risk that with my baby.

You have kids with Kathy, but you hardly ever see them, and how could it be fair to them that you take care of my child, when you hardly have your own?

I am so sorry, but I just couldn't do it. I hope you understand.

With love, Liv."

Elliot was speachless. Olivia didn't trust him with Noah? She was afraid he was gonna leave him? He already was like a son to him!

All the others were very comfused as well. What was gonna happen to the little fellow?

"She left you her apartment. You have a box too with pictures and stuff.

Next note is for Fin Tutuola.

Dear Fin.

You are more like a big brother to me. You always watched out for me, and you was the first person to know I had cancer... I trust you with everything I own, and you never let me down.

I want you to take care of Noah.

I know it is so much to ask from you, but you have watched him so often, and although he is so little, he always gets excited when I say that you're coming, or we are gonna visit you.

Please will you be a father to my babyboy?

If not, I really don't know what to do. Then he will end up in fostercare.

Please Fin.

I know you so good, and I think you're smiling now.

If you keep Noah, don't let him grow up missing his mom. Don't tell him about me untill the day he is old enough, and asks about me by himself. I hope he'll understand.

Let him know I loved him above everything. I would die for him if I had to.

I have a letter for him too, that I want you to give to him when he wants it.

I trust you Fin.

Please make my last wish come true.

~Olivia."

Fin was smiling, even though tears were rolling down hus cheeks.

He picked up little Noah from the couch, and held him against him.

"Well, as you heard, she wants you to keep Noah. Will you do that?" The attorney asked.

Fin looked at him, "offcourse I will! He ain't gonna end up in foster care. I'm gonna raise him as my own!"

"Great, then it's settled. All his toys, clothes and etc. are in her apartment, and you can pick it up today if you want to. There is a box for you too. Pictures and stuff.

There is also a box for Noah, with pictures, letters for him to read when he's grown up. There are also a card for when he get's married, and stuff for him when he one day will have his own children.

Now there is his letter. Don't read it untill he wants to read it when he's grown up. She asked none of you to read it before Noah."

Later that day, everyone went to Olivia's apartment to split her stuff between them.

Little Noah went happily home with Fin.

A few days went by, and today was Olivia's funeral.

Everyone were dressed in something black, even little Noah was wearing a black tuxedo.

While the priestwas talking in the church, everyone were silently crying, or trying to fight back their tears. It was only little Noah and Nick's daughter who weren't crying.

All of Elliots children were there too. There the few friends of Olivia, and a whole lot of cops and detectives.

There were people from the fbi, Olivia's friends from when she was undercover as Persephone, people from Noah's daycare, victims Olivia had helped and so on.

The church was nearly full of people.

Olivia had been a part in so many peoples life, and everyone were sad of her death.

When the priest was done talking, and the coffin was carried out to the grave, Elliot, Fin, Nick, Cragen, Munch and Benjamin were carrying it, while all the others followed after.

When the coffin had been lowered into the ground, Casey, Alex, Melinda, Amanda, Nick, Cragen, Elliot and Fin threw in a red rose each. Then Fin gave Noah a picture of him and his mother in a frame, and held Noah over the coffin so he could put the frame on it.

They sang two songs for her, and everyone were crying when the priest threw on the first dirt, and all the others started leaving.

They stood there watching untill the coffin was hidden under the dirt.

Then they all went home. Crying.

They had said their final goodbye to a co-worker, a friend, a girlfriend, a familymember, a mother. They had said their final goodbye to Olivia Benson. The strongest women they knew.