These are their stories ~ Amanda Rollins

Wake Up

Carisi's P.O.V:

I slowly awake to Amanda whimpering in her sleep which soon turns into more violent screaming and thrashing about. I near closer so that I would be able to wake her up at a safe distance without her hurting herself or me. I hate seeing her like this and in some sort of sick twisted way I'm glad she killed Patton so he can never hurt her again. I perch on the corner of the bed and nudge her gently.

"Amanda wake up sweetie, its okay he is not here anymore." I repeat trying to get her to wake up.

I get a little closer in a attempt to wake her up or restrict her movement so she wakes herself up. I keep repeating to her that he is not here anymore and that she will be okay but she can't hear me no matter how hard I try to get her up. Without warning, she bolts upright with tears streaming down her face. She leaps up, pushing past me, and runs straight to the bathroom. I get up and follow her to the bathroom. Approaching slowly, I get closer to the bathroom and cringe when I hear her puking. I open the door slightly and hear her sobbing between gags. I reach towards the light switch so I can see her and sit down with her to comfort her.

"Please don't turn the light on, this is so embarrassing." She hiccups, still hunched over the toilet.

"Hey it's okay, I just want to help you. I need to be able to see you in order to help you." I explain sympathetically.

She just gives me a nod so I reach over and turn the light on. I go over to her and sit next to her on the floor.

"Is it okay if I rub your back?" I ask to make sure I wasn't going to scare her anymore than she already is.

She nods her head and so I gently pull her hair away from her face and rub small circular motions into her back. I feel so useless as this is all I can to for her right now. She's sick because she is so scared and all I can do for her is hold her hair back while she's throwing up. When she stops being sick I let her have some space and get her a glass of water from the kitchen. I walk back into the bathroom and hand her the glass of the water.

"Thanks, I appreciate this." She says quietly.

"It's okay Amanda, I'm here for you. Do you want to talk about what woke you up?"

"It was...Patton and he was...a-assaulting me again and...... it f-felt so real." She explains with tears forming in her eyes.

"You are okay now, you are here and he is dead. You are going to be okay and I promise you that. I'm always going to be here for you Amanda Rollins, I love you and you know I would do anything for you. You don't have to say it back, I just need you to know. I knew as soon as we had our first kiss that this is it, you and me - always. Soon as you are better we will have Jesse too and we can be a family, we can finally be a family. The point is Amanda I'm here for you through thick and thin nothing is ever going to change that, no matter what happens I'm yours forever and we can share the rest of our lives together - you, me and Jesse." I tell her while holding her hand tightly to reinforce everything I had just told her.

"I love you Carisi and I really do appreciate everything you are doing for me whether you think you are being useless by not being able to stop what goes through my head, you are very wrong. Your very presence is comforting to me after everything I've been through this is enough Carisi, this isn't just going to go away and I know that but with your love and support it will get easier with time. It's been less than a day since everything happened, yes i'm struggling and I hate not being able to get rid of the flashbacks and nightmares. I feel so helpless but everything would be so much worse without you." She confesses to me, squeezing my hand tightly.

I smile and grasp her hand with both of my hands. We both know we have a long road in front of us and the light in her eyes hasn't returned yet but we will get through. I just needed her to know that I love her no matter what happens to her or us. Now she is aware that no matter what happens I'm here, I feel slightly better for being too late to save her from being assaulted a second time.

"How about we clear you up and get you in the shower?"

"Yeah I think that's a good idea, I hate being sick."

"I know, it's kinda worse when you are sick because you are scared. It confirms that it's not some twisted nightmare and that it is actually real. It's at that point you can't just pretend, ya know?"

"Truist me Carisi, I know."

"I'm sorry I didn't mean it like that -"

"It's okay, I Understand. You don't have to apologise I was just kinda confirming your statement I don't know... I'm sorry."

"Don't apologise that was a dumb thing for me to have said. Now how about we get you cleaned up and you can then try and get some more sleep."

I flush the toilet for her and help her up. I run the shower and then grab the glass of water and put into the guest room she is staying in. I lay some old clothes of mine out for now as Olivia says she will bring some of Amanda's clothes around tomorrow. Next I go to the cupboard and grabs some towels out for Amanda and hand them to her.

"I'll just be in the living room if you need anything. Want me to make you anything to eat, you haven't eaten in quite a while?"

"I'm not really hungry right now, maybe I'll just have a slice of toast or something and thanks for letting me use the shower."

"Don't worry about it, I'll be here if you need anything."

She disappears back into the guest bedroom and I wait on the sofa. I sit in a trance thinking about the events of the last twenty four hours, how everything just happened all at once and how if Liv had never told me about Patton how I would had never come back to see Amanda.

Everything was quiet for now but I guess the real question is for how long? 

A/N: I'm sorry that I haven't updated in a while, I've been super busy and writer's block has been a pain in the ass. I'm hoping to update more frequently again soon you are just going to have to bear with me while I get everything sorted. I hope you enjoy this chapter, it's longer than I intended but it's the most amount of writing I've done in ages. Thank you all for being patient and for the 1.7K reads! xx