DESSERTED

CHAPTER 8:JIN

8 years ago...

"Tell me what you really freaking feel!" Joon shouted at me "I like you joon! I really like you" I admitted with eyes closed. Joon was just standing there. "Then why are you ignoring me?! We were so close for who knows how long and you'll just immediately ignore me like I was nothing! Like we were nothing!" He shouted. We were at my room. My parents are in a business trip so I'm left alone in our house. I have been ignoring joon for a month now ever since he was dating this bitch of a cheerleader. I hate how she manipulates our joon. My joon. And I hate joon more for allowing that girl to do that to him. We have been warning him but he keeps cutting us off. Our friendship with him turned cold. But he does not care since he have his solar. "You ignored us first! It's like you're solar's pet that you keep following her around and obeying everything she says even cutting ties with your friends!" I screamed back at him. I can see his hands form into fists. But after a while he opened his hands, walked towards me and sat. "I'm so sorry. I don't know what I was doing. Me and solar already broke up. I broke up with her" he said while looking at the floor. "Why?" I curiously asked. "I was just up one night feeling lonely after a petty fight with solar. I was going to text you but realised we're not on good terms. As well as yoongi and chae. It's like I lost all my loved ones just because solar told me so. She was so jealous of our relationship that she wanted me to cut you guys off and completely put my attention to her. But I caught her cheating. I realised I've just traded all my good old friends for this cheating bitch" he said angrily "we told you so!" I exclaimed. " I know. I'm sorry. Never repeating the same mistakes again" he held my hand and squeezed it. I squeezed back. "But let's get back to where you told me you like me" he continued as he raise his head and look me in the eyes. "Honestly, I like you too jin. But this can't be. We are better off as friends. I can't loose you. Not now, not ever. I dated solar to get my attention out of you since my feelings for you are getting stronger. Along the way, I fell for solar. I don't know what got into me but I really liked her as we know each other well. I admit, I had put aside my feelings for you." He said. Tears clouding my eyes "I don't want to ruin our friendship. I want you to be ours forever. To be mine forever. But I cant do that if we're in a relationship. I don't know why." He said and I lowered down my head "I understand. I feel the same way. It's like I want you to be mine but being in a relationship does not mean we will never separate or what. Maybe our feelings are just getting stronger as we grow up. I know how well we all love each other that maybe we think we must go to another level but it's really just we love each other so much that we don't want to loose each other.get me? Are we still on the same page?" I asked him. And he nodded. "That day I saw you with solar and your arms are wrapped around her neck while you give him kisses on her cheek. That day I was ready to tell you how I really feel" tears cloud in his eyes this time. Still looking at me and trying his best to listen and understand. "I'm sorry jin. I really didn't know. Our timing was off. Maybe the universe really doesn't want us to be in a relationship but rather stay as what we are forever. Maybe this is the only way we'll never have to loose each other. We're best at being friends. I don't want to loose you" joon said while crying. I'm now also crying "me either". We hugged each other. And slept beside each other that night talking about our feeling and being open to each other. We settled that night and promised not to talk about those things again to avoid awkwardness.

Next morning, it was just like nothing happened. We were back to our old selves as well as yoongi and chae. They also know what happened. No awkwardness.Maybe we are just really mistaken that we have another meaning for our feelings but it's really just we love each other so much. This time we understood. We listened to everyone's opinion each time and know each other's thoughts. We never repeated the same mistakes. We're so happy that we're matured enough to talk about these things and settle things with each other.

PRESENT:
As I see hobi and that girl, I was reminded when I saw joon and solar. And it hurts just like the last time. I walk behind them and went straight to yoongi and chae still not believing what I saw. "Is that hobi and? Who's that girl?" Yoongi asked eyeing them. "I thought he has practice?" Chae added "I also thought of that" I answered her. "Fuck him. Don't go to your lunch date tomorrow! Forget what I said awhile ago. Never date! Ever!" Yoongi told me which made me smile a little of how scattered his thoughts are. He never admits his fault but he always changes what he says which imply he knows he is wrong and we understood him just fine. "I'll try to ignore this bullshit" I told them. "That's my jin!" Chae said with a smile. I set aside my feelings since I should not feeling that way for we don't even know each other that well yet. But I ain't gonna let this boy play with me. We finished our dinner. Before we stand up, I looked at them one last time. Hobi was looking at me. His eyes are looking sorry while he looks at me. I felt another sting in my heart. What was that about?