The Boy In Blue - H.R

Chapter 51- Realisation

A/N- Yay! Double update!

~

*Harrison's POV*

"But are you happy?"

Maxi's question repeated in my head over and over, making me ask myself; was I happy?

I knew Jasmine wanted this. But did I want this?

I sighed running a hand through my hair roughly.

"Yeah.." Maxi replied to my reaction.

"Argh I need some fucking air" I mumbled out looking around for a door in this restaurant. I sighed seeing one that went straight to the balcony overlooking the beach.

"I'll leave ya too it" Maxi said walking off to some of the other boys. I walked off to the door and out onto the balcony.

My mind was going crazy with thoughts and questions and what if's.

I leant my elbows along the railing putting my head in my hands huffing loudly.

Jasmine was fun and she was sweet. She was super helpful and would drop everything to help me. The sex... was amazing. And Lilly. Lilly was funny and kind. She put others before herself unless it was seriously hurting her. She was caring and made me feel extremely happy. She was gorgeous and had an amazing figure. She had the most gorgeous smile and beautiful eyes that were as blue as the ocean. I loved the ocean and I loved Lilly.

Wait what?

I love Lilly.

"Fuck. What have I done?" I hissed out into my hands, squinting my eyes tightly.

"Harrison?" I heard a small voice come from behind me.

I looked behind me quickly seeing Lilly standing there. She shut the door behind her, before leaning against the rail as well beside me.

"Hey" I breathed out nervously. I had just come to the miraculous realisation that I was in love with this girl. And I always was. And now here she was... standing beside me looking as stunning as ever.

"What's up? You look restless" she asked pushing her hair to one side of her head.

"Yeah just thinking" I said letting out a long sigh.

"Hey, what's wrong?" She said placing a hand on my back making me bite my lip and shut my eyes tightly. I took a step back away from her hand.

"Oh, sorry" she mumbled her hand dropping to her side.

"You can't do that Lilly" I said shaking my head my hand on my head as I began to pace slightly.

"What's wrong Harrison" she said pushing her hair behind her ear as the wind pushed it in front of her face.

I groaned turning away from her. I couldn't look at her any longer, otherwise I'd do something I'd regret.

She grabbed my hand making me turn around quickly to look at her confused eyes.

"You. Your what's wrong..." I began to speak her eyes turning even more confused. "You are so fucking perfect Lilly. You have the most amazing personality and you're so bloody beautiful. You make me laugh and your so kind to me after everything I've put you through. Hell... we have a kid together and I haven't even met her" I finished looking at her just standing there.

"W-What do you mean?" She stuttered nervously looking up at me.

I looked inside biting my lip lightly before pulling her towards me by her hips so we were out of sight.

"I miss you so much... so fucking much. I thought if I married Jasmine I'd get your damn perfect face out of my head but I can't. I want you. I want a future with you. I want more kids with you. I want to be that dad that you want me to be. I know I've said it before but I'm so serious now. I need you. I love you" I said pressing my lips against her soft ones.

There were the butterflies. There were the sparks and fireworks that erupted in my stomach.

I felt her lips form against mine as she surprisingly kissed back, her arms wrapping around my neck as my palms stayed on her waist.

She quickly pulled away, putting space between us.

"Harrison... fuck" she said running her hand through her hair.

"What?" I asked curiously.

"You're engaged" she mumbled making me groan.

"I know. I've fucked up. I don't know what I'm doing" I said running my hand messily through my hair.

"Oi! Mate. Time for the clubs?" A drunk Maxi comes out.

Everyone was suppose to go to the club after this engagement party.

"Cmon. Let's go enjoy ourself and just have some fun. Don't stress" Lilly said sending me a comforting smile. And unlike Jasmines comforting smile, it actually gave me comfort. I nodded with a smile as we followed Maxi closely behind.

"Hey can I talk to you?" Someone called tugging on my hand lightly. I turned around seeing Jasmine standing there innocently. I gulped nervously nodding slightly, scared she had seen Lilly and I.

"I'm gonna go home with Maggie and Brit, I'm feeling really sick so we're just going to have a movie night" she said.

"No that's fine. Feel better soon" I said pecking her lips quickly and softly before we said our goodbyes and I followed the group of boys, and Lilly of course.

For some reason I was happy that Jasmine wasn't  coming with us. As bad as it was, I would get Lilly to all myself. I know cheating is bad. Soo bad. But I can't help the way I feel.

~

A/N- Heckers