LOVING Aman | ✓

24

Sometimes the lie is the only truth that can ever be.

-Sweet_Sultana

* * *

When my walk led me down to the path we had once met with Aman, I simply let my feet move in the directions of my heart like I've done in the last three months.

I know! I am pathetic! However I couldn't help myself.

Walking down this path every once in a while had also been therapeutic for me even if at first it was because if I tried enough, I could picture Aman there, or at least his eighteen- year old version. However now, I  come here, not because I was hoping to find him here, but it was the place I chose to be my escape from an inescapable reality.

With my mind down, I continued to move through it all, reliving all that had transpired between us on the last day we had met each other. I kept my distance, however, whenever I came to the exact spot we'd met; that was until today.

But after a few more minutes of lingering, I stood up and with my head down, I walked slowly out of the place, or rather I was until I ran into something big and solid.

When I looked up, he was standing there, in front of me, staring right at me, but his face gave nothing away. I took three steps backwards, shocked from the impact of this unexpected meeting

He blinked. I blinked. There was silence.

“Aman," I finally said.

“Reima," he replied.

As soon as his smooth voice fell on my ears, all the nails to my heart began to unscrew themselves but today, I hated this weakness he evoked in me.

I looked him up again from head to toe, he looked taller than I remembered. There wasn't much of the broken man I had met and came to love in him anymore. The man in front of me was more confident, and he smiled a lot, and he seemed genuinely happy to see me though considering the last we saw each other, I had promised never to see him again.

It was too bad I wasn't ecstatic about meeting him. It was just bad timing. And so I quickly said my bye and walked away.

He followed me though and without taking his eyes off me, he asked, "Can you give me a minute, Reima?"

I nodded my head and leaned against the closest tree I could find; I don't think my legs can take me on any longer, and just as if that wasn't enough, I couldn't find my voice either.

He crossed his arms over his chest and rested his back against the tree directly opposite mine.

His lips were flat, his expression inscrutable, but his eyes seem to be searching mine for something. I don't think I liked being stared at almost like some laboratory specimen, so I cleared my throat

"What do you want from me?" I asked.

"Nothing, just talk."

"We have nothing to talk about, last I checked,"

He grinned and I found myself wondering what was funny about what I had just said?

"I'm listening," I quipped.

He jerked his head back and scowled. How could he just stand there and pretend not to understand why I would be angry?

"Yes. . ." I urged but couldn't find the right words to continue.

"Yes, what?" Now he looked amused.

"What do we need to talk about?" I said finally.

Something changed in his eyes, and then his expression went back to that same inscrutable look. It's been a long time we saw each other and the last memory we shared wasn't exactly a box of sweets. He looked past me toward the road that led to our spot, almost indifferent, like he didn't want to be here, like he wanted to leave.