Downtown Idea

39. Kiwi

Zoe was mad at me. I mean, everyone was mad at me let's be serious here, but she was the one I was gonna have to see everyday.

I told Jonas about being pregnant and he was annoyingly ecstatic. He kept calling himself Uncle Jo-Jo. And the. I told Luke about moving. He'd come over to check up on me. Apparently Calum told him I came over and that he'd slammed the door on me, so he came to see if I was alright. So I told him I was going away for a while.

I didn't think he'd tell Ashton. It didn't come to mind that it mattered. But it made Zoe mad. I had to fix it, but Ashton wasn't answering his phone. Guess he was mad at me too.

I tried one more time to tell Calum about the baby. I called him three times but he didn't pick up. I thought about leaving a voicemail but no one deserved to find out that way. But was it better than not knowing at all?

I didn't try it. I just packed my shit and got on a plane. I beat Zoe there, except it wasn't pleasant. I was throwing up and feeling like shit. Air travel already wasn't my favorite and this baby made it that much more unpleasant.

When Zoe got to Atlanta, she showed up with dinner and I spent our meal apologizing all over myself over everything. I knew I messed up and I knew she had given up a lot to be here with me. I wanted to change it but I couldn't. I didn't mean to mess everything up.

Atlanta was low key when it came to press and exposure. I could go out without anyone taking photos of me. No one knew I was here. No one but Zoe and 5sos and none of them were telling anyone.

The only member of 5sos that I talked to pretty consistently was Luke. He was sweet and liked to check up on me even though I didn't tell him why I was leaving. He knew there was something, but he didn't make me say. And I didn't even want to say until I found out the gender of my baby.

I told Zoe first of course, and I even told Jonas over the phone. When Luke called me that evening, I was bursting with excitement and I couldn't hold it in.

"Okay so, you know there's a reason I left LA, right?" I asked giggling stupidly while I sat on the balcony outside my bedroom. I was looking at the ultrasound photo while I talked to him.

"Yes, well obviously." Luke laughed. "I just can't figure out if it's good or bad."

"Hm I'm thinking of it as good now." I said. It took me a log time to think of this baby as a good thing. I was on my own to take care of it and everyone I cared about was mad at me. But now, I didn't need anybody like I thought. Zoe was here and so was Jonas. "Do you wanna know what it is?"

"Yes oh my god." Luke gasped excitedly and I laughed at him.

"Okay, I left LA because I found out I was pregnant." I said scrunching my nose, "and today I found out that I'm having a boy."

"Holy shit are you serious?" He asked giggling.

"Yeah," I laughed back, "so that's why I'm here. Hiding from press."

"Hm and maybe hiding from Calum?" Luke asked knowingly. "Wait, wait, hang on, is he the father? He told us you guys fucked."

"Course he did..." I grumbled, "I dunno. It might be Jeremy's, but he doesn't want my baby and I actually really doubt it. The dates didn't line up."

"So it's Calum's." Luke said confirming again. I rolled my eyes and moved my hand over my stomach.

"Probably, but I dunno for sure." I said softly. "I dunno if I want him to be."

"Does he know?" Luke asked. I groaned and Luke groaned back teasingly. "Does he?"

"No!" I huffed, "I tried telling him like four times but he never let me get further than 'hi can we talk?'."