Sierra Nevada (XXX)

6

Shall We?

I returned to the campsite with cheeks redder than they had ever been. My face and ears were hot. I didn't think I stared at him but chances are I did. I sure couldn't get his naked form out of my mind. The water didn't obscure much at all. He may as well had just stepped out of the water and stood there naked and talked to me. He had no modesty. But I guess he really didn't need to. It was just me. What was I going to do about it after all? If I was dumb enough to tell someone about it, chances are they would not believe it. He was Avriel Kaplan, an angel a sweet and kind innocent, delicate, vulnerable, take home to your mother, righteous man. Huh? I sat down on my rock, watched for him and thought about that for a while. Why would I tell anyone that anyhow? What would be the point? If I went about bragging about any interaction that he and I had what would that say about me? What would that say about the crazy feelings that were stirring in me? Not the most recent ones, those were obvious, but the ones that fell into place when he asked to stay when he spoke honestly and openly. Those were interesting and new. They were unlike any other I felt. I wonder if they were real or just because of who he was. Then I wondered how he felt. Then because it scared the fuck out of me, I pushed it all as far away from me as I could. He was not getting under my skin only to disappear back into his own life and leave me alone again. I refocused.

I felt a little honored, then a lot, that he would let me see him that way. He hardly knew me, if he knew me at all and he just brazenly stood there, knowing that the damn water was pretty much crystal clear and then he just walked right out of it naked as the day he was born only all grown up. If that was flaccid, holy shit I should make him keep that to himself. If it wasn't, well that spoke volumes too. I wanted to smack myself for letting my mind go there just then. It really wasn't helping matters. What was I going to do with him, if the crazy boy didn't have a tent?

Just then his head came into view and then the rest of him. He was shirtless. Oh God, why the hell hadn't he put his shirt on yet? I swear he was reading my mind. He pulled his shirt on and kept on walking. His hair was still damp. It hung in those beautiful ringlets that all of his fans, myself included, had come to well a little more than admire. It just fell in front of those shoulders once he pulled it out of the collar of his shirt. He wasn't wearing anything different than he was the last time I saw him clothed, but he looked like he belonged on the cover of a magazine. There was just something about him, about the way he moved that had me about to melt into the rock I sat on. I tried so hard not to stare at him, but I was pretty much helpless. His shirt was a soft grey the collar was loose but not the typical scoop that he wore on tour. It was halfway untucked. He had on his black skinny jeans. His hiking boots were on his feet but they were untied and loose on his ankles. He looked rugged and handsome. His shoulders were thick and his chest well formed. He held my towel in his hand. I was one moment from melting. Then he waved and called my name and the image of a bearded Adonis was shattered.

He was instantly the beautiful totally adorkable Avi that I found so interesting. Comfortable in his own skin and happy to just be alive, laughing and smiling uncontrollably, sweet not so innocent Avi. How was I not supposed to fall for that? I'd been alone a long time. I didn't have to be. It was my choice. I met a lot of interesting people when I went north to stay with my friend and her husband. A lot. But I always found myself a little more than uncomfortable with the men. I just did. There was something about them or perhaps something about me that was preventing me from trusting fully and opening and sharing the real me. It was always so easy with Jonna and Rob. They had become my Sister and my Brother-in-law. I had no problems being me and they had no problems with it either, but others? I shut the door on them. Then there was that man. The one walking towards me with a triumphant look on his face. I had no defenses with him, no guard, no filter. I shocked myself when I was with him.

I hopped down off the rock and waved right back at him. I called his name and started walking his way before I had time to really think about what I was doing. Thank goodness I wasn't thinking. I doubt he was either. We met just a little over halfway to the camp. I stepped right into his arms as he opened them then closed them around me. Instead of turning my head away from him I turned it into his chest and tucked my head under his chin. I was grateful for his company, far more grateful than I knew at the time. I felt like crying. I didn't understand why. Suddenly, my emotions, just like my thoughts were scattered and crazy and all too real to deal with. I just stood there wrapped in arms that made me feel safer than I had felt in forever and let the tears fall.

I needed it. Needed to let those emotions out. I had held them in for so long. Jonna told me I was holding back way too much. She was right. I was tired of holding them. I didn't need them anymore. They were my armor. They served to protect my heart from any harm that could come to it if I let it go again. I didn't need my armor, not with him. Not at all. He just held me there while I cried. He knew what was happening. He knew a lot more about me than I imagined he could. I don't know how. I just know that he did. He rubbed my back and whispered softly. I didn't understand what he was whispering. I couldn't. I heard the sound mixed with his heartbeat. It was just a soft deep rumble in his chest. We stood there for a long time. Then I realized he was humming. Just a soft sweet little tune. It was soothing. I relaxed into his embrace and damn near fell asleep standing up.

"You okay now?" He asked after a while.

I sniffled and said yes.

"Do you want to get something to eat then go for a walk. I am hungry." I thought for sure he was going to call me on those tears, looking at his shirt I knew he felt them fall. Looking at his eyes I knew he really felt them. He smiled and held my eyes. "It happens from time to time. It's good to let go. Food?"

I laughed. "You have a one-track mind."

"You don't know the half of it." He said taking my hand and stepping beside me. He looked at me without turning his head with that wonderful smirk of his planted on his lips. Yes. I wanted to kick him. "Shall we?"