Sierra Nevada (XXX)

19

Head & Tail

We broke down the camp with very little conversation. Packed up and hit the trail. I didn't know how the day would go. That was our first fight. I was happy to have a first fight, as if that makes any sense, but I wasn't happy to be off to such a rocky start. We walked in solemn silence for a little more than an hour. I wished so much for a word from him, any word. Hell, I would have taken 'Fuck you', anything would have better than the silence. But I understood. He needed to think. He couldn't do that if he was talking. I needed to think too. He had just shown me his vulnerable self. I knew he was in there. It was never very hard to see if you looked past all the pretty, still, I was surprised at how insecure he was and yet, I understood.

I walked quietly beside him. I was lost deep in my own thoughts by the time he had sorted it all out. We had put our backs to the sun and headed a touch deeper into the mountains, which offered varied views and terrain. I found the physical effort invigorating, not as much as playing with Avi, but it felt good to work and use the muscles needed to traverse the terrain. He must have too. We hiked along the trail, settling into ourselves and a strong rhythm.

"Look at that." His voice startled me. I really didn't expect him to talk the rest of the way. He touched my shoulder, gently demanding that I turn around. I didn't regret it. The valley was laid out before us, the sun shining off a distant lake. It was breathtaking. I smiled at Avi and he smiled back. "Let's take a selfie," He didn't wait for me to agree. "You stand here in front of me and look straight forward."

"The sun is behind us. Won't that ruin the picture?"

"Not necessarily. Here, right here. Let me show you." He positioned me where he wanted me and stepped behind me. He raised up his phone and took several shots. "Now give me yours, please." He took my phone and unlocked it, laughed at my lock screen and opened the camera. I don't know how many pictures he took, but he was smiling at them as he flipped through them. He handed me his phone and showed me how to unlock it. He opened the gallery and left it open. We found rocks to sit on and flipped through each other's camera roll.

"You're too cute. Is this Jonna?" He turned my phone screen towards me. One of my favorite pictures of my sister sat on the screen. I couldn't help but smile. "She is very nice and cute too."

"Yes, she is beautiful inside and out." I handed him back his phone. I was surprised. I went through every photo on his camera roll, they were all small pieces of art. He handed me back mine.

"I'm sorry."

"About what?" I almost panicked. Did he accidentally delete my pictures of him?

"This morning. I'm sorry." Not hugging him wasn't an option. I pulled him tight to me and held him there.

"It happens, just know that one day I'm gonna say it until then I will find a million ways to show you if you will let me." His smile was soft and warm and full of joy. He nodded like an idiot and carefully smashed our lips together. He kissed me just long enough to leave me wet and smiled knowingly when he was done.

"Water?"

"You're a brat!" His laughter filled the valley and my heart. We spent the rest of the hike talking lightly, holding hands when we could and drinking more water than we normally would have needed to. We laughed and joked and had a few serious conversations about some of the mistakes we had made in our lives and the lessons we had learned from them. We managed to reach our last wild campsite a few hours before dusk. It was a good thing that we were very efficient together. The camp was set within fifteen minutes.

We found a soft space to sit and both pulled our guitars out of their bags at the same time. A fresh round of laughter hit. Sitting felt good, laughing felt great, jamming felt better. We played into the sunset, the strings of our guitars seemed to know when to quiet down and we played softly into the night. We put our guitars away stoked the fire and ate a small meal. After, he leaned against a log and asked me to come and sit between his legs. I did as he asked. He wrapped his arms around me and gently kissed my ear.