How I fell in love with Ian Gallagher

How love can be called a mistake

About a week or two later, the Gallagher's and Malkovich's walked down the streets, ready to beat a child fucker up.
I didn't know who we were gonna fuck up, but at the word kid fucker, both families suddenly got together and made their way to the house.

I stood right behind my dad, ready to beat the shit out of someone. I would prefer beating up my dad, but that wouldn't end well for me, so I would beat up every other fucker that came my way - something my brothers and I had in common.

Ian stood on the other side, a cigarette in his mouth.
After this I would fucking drag him in some alley way and make him fuck me for sure!

The door opened and instead of some old paedophile man, a young woman opened up.
"May I help you?", she already looked frightened by the group of aggressive men in front of her door.
"We're looking for Blake Collins", Dad said and tried to look into the house.
"I-I'm Blake Collins."

Apparently, she was the kid fucker we were supposed to deal with - a woman? For real?
I was confused and so was dad, we both looked at Ian.
"Oh shit, you're the eight-grade teacher who screwed her student right? You were on TV."
Fucking smart asshole, always had the answers. Yep, definitely would make him fuck me against a wall after this.

"I didn't screw William. I loved him. And I did my time, I paid for my mistake.", she looked sad, "If love can be called a mistake."

I stood there, right behind my dad, who would kill me if he knew what me and Ian were doing, and next to Ian, who I thought... I maybe, loved. I had tried to shake the thought ever since it occurred to me for the first time when he visited me in juvie more than a year ago. I had tried to not think about it and not act differently towards the ginger, so he wouldn't notice my feelings. Because what fucking use would that have?
And this woman, this stupid woman stood there, claiming, love can't be called a mistake.
If not, then why do I have to fear for my fucking life for, probably, maybe, loving that Gallagher next to me?

They babbled some more, I couldn't listen anymore, my mind far too off right now.
Eventually the crowd lost itself and it was just Lip, Ian and me.
I threw my plans on fucking Ian in an alleyway over board.

Stupid fucking feelings, always getting in the fucking way.
I can't fuck him while I freak out about maybe loving him and how my dad would kill me for just that - so why couldn't we beat that woman up that fucked a kid after all? It was like Kash fucking Ian! Why was me having feelings for Ian worse, than a teacher fucking a fourteen year-old, just because she's a goddamn woman?

"Shit, we should still do something!", Lip vocalised my opinion.
But I couldn't agree with him. The way I came to the thought we should still teach her a lesson was so none of his business, I couldn't lead him on.
"You thinking gang bang?", I did what I always did - playing it straight. Earning a weird look from both of them.

"No, but maybe call the cops or some shit! I mean she fucks little kids!"
"It was one kid", Ian said, "He wasn't that little.", of course he would say that, he boned a forty year old Muslim whenever he could.
"Yeah, If I would've had a teacher like that and she wanted it? Man, I'm getting wood just thinking about it!"

Ian shot me a confused look; Lip had a weird smug smile on his lips while lighting a cigarette.
Angie Zahgo, known for doing it with everyone, sat a few houses down the road on her porch.

"Hey Angie!", I yelled at her, trying to get away from Ian, who still made me feel fuzzy whenever he looked at me, and that with my dad just around the fucking corner, "You wanna fuck?"
"Sure", she shrugged, and I walked up to her house. I felt Ian's eyes following me, burning me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was awkward later at the store.
Ian seemed cold and distant. Usually, when we were alone here, he wouldn't stop fucking flirting, no matter how often I told him to stop.