How I fell in love with Ian Gallagher

How I kissed Ian Gallagher for the first time

When Ian and I wanted to meet up somewhere, we usually just sent a short text with a place and a time to the other one. Then I deleted the message right away after he said he'd be there.
Every time.

If someone was to find my phone, the Gallagher and I had no communication with each other. None.

I hoped Ian Did the same, because as far as I knew, his family shared one phone.
I got mine as payment for some drugs once.

I met Ian on a rooftop of the abandoned buildings just outside the city.
Ian was busy pulling some old tires together and placing them on the roof top.

"Hey Gallagher" I yelled and walked over.
Ian was building up some kind of parkour so he could do his ROTC training stuff.
Wasn't the first time we'd meet up and I watch him work out before we banged. When we had the time to talk and share a drink and spend time together, we did that before or after fucking our brains out.

"Hey Mick"
"I still don't get all this training effort, just to be shot in the ass in some fucking desert. You're nuts man."
"Don't you start like this too! Lip is lying in my ears with that bullshit already."

"Oh, comparing me to your brother? Massive turn off, bitch"
Ian chuckled "You got the beer?"
I nodded and held up my backpack "Beer, weed, lube, rubbers and my gun."
Ian showed his goofy grin again "Everything two guys need for some fun hours."

"Why the gun though?"
I shrugged "In case you need encouragement for your training. If you don't run fast enough, you might run into a bullet."

"So, encouraging me? You're gonna be my cheerleader?"
I playfully boxed against his shoulder, he chuckled at me "Keep it up and I will really shoot you"

I quickly helped Ian setting up the rest of his training parkour and then sat on a little higher spot where I could watch him running around. I enjoyed watching him working out. It was weird, how I liked seeing him sweaty and muscular, running around, being fit and sporty, hot, it turned me on and in my head I imagined him taking his shirt off and rubbing the sweat of his hot body and his rippled abs.
The thought was gayer than I would ever admit.

I shot my gun playfully into the air, while he ran over stuff and crawled over the ground.
"Hey, you remember that guy you beat the shit out of at the club?", Ian asked suddenly while keeping to run his rounds, "He wants me to sneak into his mansion and take all of his crap!"

Did he really have to start with that guy again? What was so special about him? He was old and ugly, probably couldn't even do a second round without a one hour break, maybe he couldn't even get it up without the little blue pills.
"Really? Hilarious!", I just stated, took a drag from my cigarette and kept shooting.

"Can't get it himself. Divorce. Says I can take whatever I want, he's loaded. You want in?", he kept talking about that guy, oh so special, oh so rich - oh so bullshit!
I shot at the ground right next to him. Shut up with that asshole, you prick!

He flinched "Jesus! Use blanks maybe?!"
He got up from the ground.
"Can I bring my cousins?", robbing that bitch blind had a good ring to it, for me.
"Yeah!"
"Alright, I'm in."

Ian finished his round and walked up to me.
"I don't know what you see in that geriatric viagroid!", I said, fucking jealousy got the better of me again, but I had to know what the fuck it was, that he had, and I didn't!
"He buys me stuff. Orders me room service."

Really? That was all it took? It was just the money and some heartless presents? Fucking room service? I shot into the air.
But then he said something else, that made me feel ashamed and angry at myself all of a sudden and I couldn't believe his words had that kind of power over me.

"He isn't afraid to kiss me."

I looked down.
You don't know what you're talking about... Kissing... taking his dick up my ass while I barely look at him was one thing... kissing him?

Only when I was alone with him, I felt free and safe enough to admit to myself, that what we did, what I was, was gay. Being alone with him loosed up this mindset that was pounded into me by my dad, he made me free, it was kind of effortless with him. I knew, up here, it was just us, no one would catch us. Everything was possible when we were alone, that's what it felt like.

But as soon as I thought about my dad or my family, the world outside, everything outside this little bubble I was in with him, I backed off. I couldn't let my feelings grow, I couldn't accept them, embrace them. Because it's not always just us.
So yeah, I couldn't help but to be afraid to kiss him.

He walked off, to put the wooden training gun away, and I followed, because it meant, we'd get to fucking now.

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A day later my brother Iggy, my cousin and me met up with Ian. He drove the van we stole.
We reached the house and my head was full.
Did he fuck that guy in this house?
Did he suck him off?
Enjoyed he fucking him more than me?

At the same time, I couldn't fucking stop hearing his voice in my head.
"He isn't afraid to kiss me"
I couldn't stop thinking about it, couldn't stop imagining his lips, couldn't stop imagining kissing him. And at the same time my head was full of pictures how Ian kissed that old dude.
I didn't want him to kiss him ever again or to fuck him ever again.
Yeah, I was jealous as hell! I just... I wanted him all to myself!

We got out of the van and I started taking out the guns and handed them to my brother.
"Hey, guys! Guys!", Ian hissed, "No fucking guns, alright? It's just a drunk old lady in there!"
I bit my bottom lip and looked up to the house. If the guy would be in there, I'd use the chance to shoot him. But maybe it was better to go in there without arms.

I put the stuff back and we walked up to the door, while Ian waited in the van.
While Iggy picked the lock of the door, I looked back to the van, where Ian was waiting.
"He isn't afraid to kiss me"
Fucking idiot. Was it that, what it took to make him stop fucking other dudes?
"Wait here, I forgot something, be right back", I mumbled, the second my brother and cousin entered the house.

I quickly ran back to the van, jumped in, Ian turned his head confused and I just went for it and kissed him.

I felt his soft lips on mine and the feeling went through me, I felt warmth creeping up in every body-part and I hardly ever felt something so good - even though it only lasted for a short while. I needed to go back, and I couldn't chance my brother seeing something.
But I kissed him.
Are you happy now?

And that's how I kissed Ian Gallagher for the first time.

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