Fighting my monsters

Part 13

Jihoons pov

You don't deserve to live
True
Your fat
True
Your worthless
True
Your ugly
True

Those were the toxic thoughts that I could hear on the way to school it wasn't just any voice in my head it was my own. But every word the voice says is the truth.

As soon as I got into school I was greeted by got7, by greeted I mean that I was slammed against the lockers yet again.

"Where do you think your going?" Jinyoung said and I didn't reply not trusting my mouth but it seems that this angered them more.
" I asked you a question,answer it!"
"N-Nowhere" I reply stuttering
"Exactly"
Was what I heard before the kicking started again and without realising it when I put my arms up,my sleeves falling down to reveal the cuts I made on my arms.

That was when the beating stopped and when I looked up I saw them staring at me in shock
"W-what?" I manage to say not realising that they had seen the cuts.
" y-your cuts" bambam says whilst pointing at my arms. It was my turn to be shocked no one was supposed to find out and now my bullies know. I quickly manage to stand up leaning against the lockers and taking my time to run whilst they were frozen in shock.

But I couldn't even make it far before I heard jaebum shout "wait" but it wasn't an angry shout more like a cry for help like he felt sympathy for me...
Slowly I turned around to see them all looking at me and I suddenly felt a rush of confidence.

" wait? For what? For you to tear me down more? for you to beat me up again? I cant do this anymore I dont want to do it anymore,I dont want to live anymore..!" I say finally crying but they didn't mock me instead I felt arms wrapped around me in a hug.
I tried not to flinch away remembering the touch of my dad keyword tried.

They must have noticed how uncomfortable I was because they let go stepping backwards before saying
" we're sorry, and we know that we can't get your forgiveness for what we have done but we can at least apologise for what we did. Even after everything we say to you we never wanted this to happen we didn't want it to go this far" jinyoung said whilst crying.

"Never wanted it to go this far. What do you mean? You told me to die many times it seems to me that you did want it." I say angrily not wanting to back down. But then they grabbed my hands and dragged me behind the school. I let them and didn't even bother struggling I knew they we to strong for me.

They let go and I closed my eyes ready for the inevitable beating but it never came, instead of the beating when I looked up they were looking at me eyes full of regret.
" we never wanted to hurt you, I'll be honest and say that we were trying to cover up who we really are and the only way of doing that is by being mean to you. Truthfully we are gay too, we were scared and envious that you came out so easily and for that we are sorry"
Jackson says whilst looking down, but the fact that he said I came out easily pissed me off.
" I understand that you were scared to come out but that's no reason for you to do this. Plus my coming out was NOT easy do you have any idea of how it feels to be disowned by your parents because of your sexuality and then when you go to school you get beaten up and have words thrown at you that bring down your self esteem everytime and make you not want to live anymore?" I say tears streaming down my face screaming for help.

"We didn't know that was happening... and we will stop bullying you now we realise it was never the right thing to do. We promise to help you from now on so please dont cut anymore."yugyeom says trailing off at the last sentence.

" I'll try to stop I promise but please dont bully me anymore I've had enough" I say but, all promises are meant to be broken.

The bell rings signifying the start of lessons so we quickly rushed to class barely making it on time and received weird looks on the way.

A/N hopefully this makes sense sorry for the late update please give me ideas as I have writers block. Thank you if you are still reading this story and please tell me how to improve on it

Word count: 809