Fighting my monsters

chapter 20

Jihoons pov

When I opened my eyes the next morning no one was there... I was alone again
Looking around the room I notice a neatly placed  peice of paper to the left of me and was relieved to find out that soonyoung has just gone for abit but would be back later on. I dont know why but I feel safe with him.

Wow really fatass getting attached to the first person that is nice to you ? Pathetic

My happy mood was taken away from me just like that ,the smile that was previously there dropping to a frown. Then I realized that not only was I going to be staying at someones house that I barely know  there was also 11 other people that live with him..

Oh shit ...I'm screwed

I dont know how to interact with loads of people that's one of the reasons I never get paired with anyone for projects that and nobody wants to partner with me.

Its laughable really ,17 years old and yet no social life (it's ok jihoon same). I mean it's not like it was always like that I had got7 until the incident and they may have apologised but I dont think we can ever be as close as we used to be they have hurt me too much.

After a while I got bored of sitting all alone waiting for soonyoung to arrive so I did something I havent done in a while, I sang. It was one of the very first songs I wrote myself and I relate to it.

Sneaking, laughing, crying
몰래 웃고 몰래 울고
mollae usgo mollae ulgo

Hiding me
내 모습을 숨기면서
nae moseub-eul sumgimyeonseo

After a busy day
버거운 듯 하루를 보내고
beogeoun deus haluleul bonaego

I couldn't speak out today
오늘도 겉으로는 말 못 한
oneuldo geot-euloneun mal mos han

In my mind
마음속으로만 되새긴
ma-eumsog-euloman doesaegin

It's hard, it's difficult, it's difficult
힘들어 힘들어 힘들어
himdeul-eo himdeul-eo himdeul-eo

When it's hard, come to me
힘들 때면 나에게로
himdeul ttaemyeon na-egelo

You can hug me, I'm the same
안겨도 돼 나도 같아
angyeodo dwae nado gat-a

I didnt notice the door opening when I was singing to distracted to pay attention to what's around me.
(Skip to end of song)

I've worked hard for you
내가 있다고 수고했다고
naega issdago sugohaessdago

I say I love you
사랑한다고
salanghandago

I feel a tear falling down my cheek so I wipe it away, I am broken out of my thoughts when I hear clapping.

Oh no ... someone heard my awful voice

Turning to where the clapping was coming from I see soonyoung standing by the door

"Wowww, that was so good I've never heard that song before who is it by ?" He asked shocking me, he thought it was good ?? Really is this another joke if so where is the punch line ?

" I ...wrote it myself its called hug" I waited for the insults to come after I said that but they never came instead I saw him stood there shocked

"Really ? The lyrics were really good I wish I could write songs like that and your really good at singing too I could listen to you all day . I dance instead though most of the time and only really sing or rap when needed, I think you will really get along with my friends cause we all love music and dance" he explained with an excited look on his face, someone actually likes my song and voice the last time someone said that it was yoongi.

... I miss him

"Miss who?" I looked up startled I must have said that out loud

..."yoongi" a knowing look crossed his face
"Ahh dont worry you might see him soon you never know" he said sympathetically but all it gave me was false hope, he'll never come back for me ..he broke his promise

Of course I dont say this out loud, its not important, I just nod my head in agreement

We were interuppted by a knock on the door and with soonyoung asking if I was ready I had to say yes. I have to be ready or I never will be. "Come in" soonyoung called out and with that the police came in luckily all female i dont think I would be able to deal with a male police officer.

"Hello ,you must be lee Jihoon. I am officer park and this is officer kim.We are here to ask you a few questions about your situation with your father. This is to make sure that if,in fact, he is an abusive/dangerous man to you or the public he can be put in prison."

I nodded along to what they were saying I may look like I have a calm exterior but inside I was nervous. What if I said something wrong, what if I'm the one in the wrong, what if .. what if he doesn't get put in prison. I can't bare the thought of the last one if he either doesn't get put in prison or is freed he's going to kill me.

Not like you don't want to die anyway

With that I made up my mind "ok"

Questioning

"We are going to start with the easier questions so, are you or have you ever been scared of your dad" I hesitantly nod

"Has he ever hurt you?" Nodded again, but don't all bad kids get hit?  I deserved it in the first place
"This is very important, in what ways has he hurt you ? If its too much for you we can stop for a minute" in more ways than you can probably imagine
" n-no we don't have to stop I can handle it, ummm he has hit me, burnt me kicked me thrown me an- and stabbed me" I say looking down ashamed, gasps erupted around the room I look up at soonyoung and see he has tear in his eyes. For me? No who would ever shed a tear for a worthless object like you, not the sun. The sun doesn't cry for darkness it gets rid of it.

"And the last question is, has he ever touched you in a sexual way that you didn't want" that was the last straw, I broke down into tears the memories of the event coming back into my mind like a vicious cycle.

"Y-yes, but he's only done that once ! I was in the wrong, I-i had fainted at school so I was late home. I Deserved it!" I say in hysterics my breathing picking up when suddenly I felt arms around me.. soonyoungs.

"Breathe with me ji, breath" and so i did, following his breathing I slowly calmed down." No one should EVER be made to do something they don't want to do, especially if its a sexual act, youre not to blame for any of this ji your a teen, you just have to live your life you don't OWE anyone anything not even your dad." He says to me, I look up at him whilst he was saying this with stars in my eyes.

All I've ever wanted was for someone to say that it wasn't my fault, that none of this was my fault. Yes it doesn't get rid of the past but atleast I have someone to stand by me and comfort me.

"Thank you for your time lee jihoon, I think this will be enough evidence but just incase would we be able to take the cctv hospital footage of your father" at least they didn't ask for pictures of the marks cause I dont think I'd be able to handle that.

"Yes, you can... I just want it all to be over"

The case

The abuse

The bullying

My life

They walked out shutting the door behind them and the room was encased in silence

A/N- sorry for the late update I still really don't have inspiration and there are alot of things going on at the moment  plus I've just started college. Yey for me. Hope you like the book I'm not sure if I've repeated anything from previous chapters so if I have, just tell me.
Word count: 1385