Hold me tight & don't let go.

Losing control.

“Dear Spencer,

Please, promise you won’t show anyone this note. I’m not allowed to be writing this.

Happy Birthday, baby. I miss you so, so, so much. I hope you know how much I wish I was there. I’m fine, I promise.  I don’t know when I’m coming home but know that I love you no matter what.

Liam. X”

My heart skipped a beat. I re-read the note on top of the box on my front porch over and over again.

I ripped open the box and looked inside… the only thing inside was another note reading:

“Spencer,

Meet me in the alley next to the café’ at exactly 2.45am tonight. Don’t tell anyone where you’re going or that you’re going. I need to see you but if anyone finds out… I don’t know what might happen. Please, I need to see you. Liam x”

I dropped the note in shock and Harry walked up the porch.

“What’s this?” he asked picking up the piece of paper.

“Nothing!” I replied quickly snatching it from him before he could read it.

“Whoa, okay” he said with a slight laugh looking at me like I’m crazy.

I raced inside and looked at the clock: 8.30pm.

I spent hours sitting on my bed listening to music as loud as it would go until everyone went to bed. Liam. I was going to see him finally after so long. I remember only just before I found the parcel when I blew out my birthday candles and made my wish. “I wish to for Liam to be okay and to see him again soon” and within an hour my wish was coming true.

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23rd of January 2015, 1.15am

Dear Journal,

Only an hour and a half journal, then everything might be okay. Everything finally might feel like it used to. My baby might have their dad. I might have my love. The boys might have their best friend. Is this really happening journal? Is this possible? It kinda seems too surreal, too amazing to be happening. I miss him more than words can explain. I love him more than words can explain. I can’t wait to hold him again in my arms. To tell him I love him. To kiss him. To hug him. To just be with him.  When he wasn’t gone I just took those things for granted. Now I know what it feels like to not have him here, I know how important they are.

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5th of October 2012

“What the heck are boys doing here!? Ahh, oh my gosh!” I screamed as Harry, Louis, Niall and Zayn walked into mine and Liam’s Sydney hotel room.

“Surprise!” Harry yelled picking me up and hugging me. All the boys jumped in and we had a massive group hug.

“We’re gonna do some concerts and that… so it’s not 100% a holiday… but it might as well be! Look at this beautiful country!” Louis added excitedly.

“Liam, you knew!? Why didn’t you tell me?” I said playfully hitting his arm.

“Like Harry said, it was a surprise!” he smiled.

“Aw, it’s so great that you guys are here!” I grinned.

They all smiled and I couldn’t help but smile back.

“Baby, you light up my world like nobody else

The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed

But when you smile at the ground it ain’t hard to tell

You don’t know, oh oh. You don’t know you’re beautiful” Harry sang beautifully to the crowd of thousands of screaming girls.

I couldn’t help but laugh as they jumped around the stage like idiots and Liam and Louis banged into each other and fell to the ground.

“Thank you so much Sydney! We love you!” the boys chorused before running off stage.

“Brilliant job as always boys” I smiled.

“Thanks” the boys all said giving me a kiss on the cheek before walking off.

“Hey, babe… can we talk?” Liam asked turning around.

“Um, sure” I replied.

“Okay, I’m gonna get straight to the point… what do you think about moving in together?” he asked nervously.

“Okay, I’m gonna get straight to the point… that sounds like the best idea I’ve ever heard” I grinned kissing him.

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Present Day

I stood in the dark alleyway shivering and searching for Liam… but he was nowhere to be found. “2.57” I whispered to myself checking my watch.

And then suddenly a felt a pain on the back of my head and everything went black.